Fatherhood
by hajikurazaki19
Summary: Zexion is a struggling medical student who only has two things to his name. A newborn baby. And a helpful roommate. Now he has to figure the rest out on his own. Zexion's POV
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. Good evening to you all. I decided that I would try to write a different kind of fic. So far, it's looking like a short one. Only a few chapters, but it might grow. I'm not planning any Zexion Demyx relationships, but that could also change, though it's not very likely. This is something about how I thought Zexion would handle being a single father. The baby's name is completely random. And I don't own Kingdom Hearts, though I do claim Wes**

**Note: This is fiction. I'm warning you now because some things may be a little bit of a tender subject for some people. I am also not a single father, or a man, so please, don't flame me for being insufferable. I am a girl. And besides, this is Zexion we're talking about. I tried to stay in character as much as possible. I'm sorry if you don't like that he's a sociopath. Take it up with the character designers, not me.**

**Enjoy. This is rather depressing too, but it might get better. (Don't count on it.)**

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Well, I suppose I could start at the beginning, but that would be way too much of a waste of my time. So, I'll keep it simple. My name is Zexion. And, yes, I really am as young as you think I am. And, no, I'm not some sobbing, whining person who wants the world to be nice to me. I'm merely telling this story so that you could possibly understand the way things are for me. Possibly.

But, allow me a moment to collect my thoughts. This is difficult. A hardship that far too many people my age are going through. It seems hardly fair, but that's not the point today. I'm going to tell you a story about my son.

His mother named him Wes. Why she chose such a short, undefining name is beyond me. She just told me his name was Wes, and that was it. No last name, since she didn't want to give him mine, and she certainly didn't want to attach her prestigious surname either. So, it was just Wes.

Now, the mother. She was a good person, I think. We met in school. She was going to be a nurse, I was there for neurological surgery. We kind of liked each other. Or rather, she liked me, and I needed to fuck someone. Whatever it was, we ended up having sex. We did it for a while. I was stupid, I'll admit. She ended up taking the time away from my studies. My grades slipped a little, but I was still the top of my class. And then, stopped talking to me. I was okay with it only because I wasn't into her more than just a quickie here or there. So, I assumed that our false relationship was over. And for a while it was.

But, then she came to me in the middle of my final exam and told me she was four months pregnant. She was pissed at me. Probably because I couldn't have cared less. And the whole class knew about it. They seemed to hiss with anticipation, wanting me to get up and walk out on everything. They wanted me to leave with the mother of my child and never come back. I just couldn't do that.

But, that's not what happened. When she was standing over me, despite the protests of my Professor, she was scared. I could see that she really did love me, and wanted me to follow here, so I could take care of her. Only sluts did that. And, as concentrated as I was on my studies, I ignored her. She didn't exist to me at that point. She was just an unnecessary distraction. A damn fool for embarrassing herself the way she was. I closed my eyes and sighed, not wanting to deal with her little problem, and kindly told her to get the fuck out.

I avoided her for a week after that, though she didn't try to seek me out. I found that a little unnerving, despite my uncaring demeanor, and my career-focused attitude. I thought she left, dropped out of school so she could bother someone else like the little slut she was. And I was okay.

The months went by. Five, by my count. I had been on a two week break in between my semesters when she knocked on my dorm door. I could see she wasn't pregnant anymore, so she must have had the baby. I don't know why I opened the door, but I opened it and there she stood, carrying a car seat wrapped in a blanket. She looked pissed, but I was sure she looked like that all the time now. But, it wasn't my responsibility to take care of her.

"His name is Wes."

We stood facing each other for a few minutes. We stood in silence, but our body language was waging a war. A war that I think she was losing. She frowned, and furrowed her brow in that annoying way that she did when she was angry. She put the car seat down in front of me and walked away. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. I knew what she was saying.

The baby was mine. And his name was Wes.

He was absolutely miniscule. A tiny curled up bit of flesh that breathed. His eyes were still sealed shut from being in a sac of fluid for nine months, and he looked like a creature from a dark dank place. And, when he opened his mouth, I could see nothing but a tiny pink tongue, and a wail flooded the room. He struggled with the sound; it was hard for him to cry. I could hear his lungs were underdeveloped. I wondered briefly how old he was, and whether he was born prematurely, but I didn't really care. Right now he was crying, and I had no idea what to do about it.

So, I took the car seat in and shut the door. My roommate sat up in his bed. I hadn't even been aware that he was sleeping. Mostly because I didn't give a shit about anyone except for myself. I had to study to get this degree. And I wasn't going to let anything stop me. Not that baby, not my insufferable peers, and definitely not that slut.

"Hey."

I turned to my roommate and glared at him. "What?"

He motioned to the slightly moving car seat. "Uhhh, the baby?"

"What about it?"

My roommate was a kind person. He went to a music school around the block. It just so happened that the two campuses shared one dorm building. His name was Demyx I think. I wasn't quite sure because I didn't really talk to him too much. And he didn't talk to me. But, now he was staring at me, angry.

"You have to get him to stop crying, man."

"He'll stop on his own," I whispered, sitting back down at my desk. I had important papers to write and they needed to be done before the beginning of the next semester.

Demyx stood up and stretched. "He's your kid. You gotta take care of him."

I clicked my teeth in annoyance. "He will stop crying when he gets too tired to keep it up."

I don't know why he kept looking at me like I was crazy. I turned back to my papers continued writing. The baby had stopped crying and I swiveled around in my chair. Demyx was holding him, rocking him gently and looking at me.

"I had a babysitting gig to get up tuition," he said. I guess he felt like he had to explain himself to me. I didn't care, but he kept pressing the matter.

"You're going to have to feed him, you know," Demyx whispered. "He's your baby."

I waved my hand. "Eh, I'll pick something up tomorrow." I don't know why he was getting so uptight about it.

I felt him coming closer to me, but he stopped and back away. I think he was going to hit me. That's what it sounded like. Footsteps that were going to punch you. I turned around in my chair again. Demyx was wrapping the baby in a blanket, cooing softly. I could see from behind that he was still mad at me.

I couldn't understand why. I mean, sure, the baby was my son. My baby, rather. It was not up to me to take care of it. That's what the mother was for. Even in the animal kingdom, the fathers had nothing to do with the upbringing of the children. Naturally speaking, my part in his creation was over with. He was here. He was on his own now. And he would die without the mother. He wasn't strong enough to survive one night by himself.

"His name is Wes," Demyx said.

"You named it?" I asked, completely forgetting that that slut had told me what his name was. That bitch would come back one day, and when she did, that baby would be right here waiting for her.

Demyx brandished a letter under my nose. I didn't take it. I wasn't interested in it, but after a few minutes of intense silence, I took it and dropped it on my desk. I would get around to it eventually. Just not now.

"Hey!"

I turned again, getting angry. "What?"

He looked at me. I never really noticed what he looked like before today, but now his face was almost touching mine. His hair was in a tired looking mullet, though it lacked the party-in-the-back phrase that was coined to the hairstyle. And two angry sea-green eyes were beating down my soul. But, I was just as adamant. He was not going to distract me any longer. I pushed his face away. He fell, and I returned to my studies. There was silence soon after, and that was how it was for the rest of the night.

Except, when the baby cried. I ignored it. It seemed to have calmed itself, but when I turned to check if it was asleep, Demyx was there, hushing it. And sometimes he would feed it. The slut must have left some formula.

But, still. I had papers to write, and I ended up staying awake all night so I could finish. I didn't feel the slightest bit of sympathy for Demyx as he got up every two hours to feed that child—my child—almost like clockwork. He would look at me every time he did so. Like he was trying to coax me into doing something. He was mostly mad, but by maybe four in the morning, he was exhausted. We already didn't sleep that much anyway, with finals and other assignments constantly looming overhead, but Demyx looked haggard now. Ghoulish even, with dark bags under his eyes.

"Hey."

I looked up at him. I was still pissed at him. He wasn't. In fact, he looked apologetic. "What?"

"I'm sorry about last night," he said. He was scratching the back of his head nervously. He wasn't sure if he could trust me with that baby by myself.

Honestly, he couldn't. I didn't care about the child. If he left, that baby would be unattended all day. I would only move him if he was in my way., and I would only look at him if he cried. Demyx shouldn't have left, but he did. Not without asking if it was going to be okay to leave the two of us alone. I gave him the most sincere promise I could fake, and smiled.

But, as soon as he closed the door, my fake smiles disappeared, and I returned to my work. And time passed. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep. The sound of gurgling cries is what woke me up. The baby was crying. He must have been hungry. I shook my head and glanced at the clock. Three hours had passed! I rifled through my papers and found them in a disheveled heap. I stood up and threw my papers across the room, and stormed over to the car seat. The baby was crying as loudly as his weakened lungs would allow him. I was angry and sleep deprived and I couldn't help myself.

"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed.

I probably knew that wasn't a good idea. In fact, it was an extraordinarily bad one. But, my papers were a mess, and the baby was crying, and I needed sleep. And everything was falling apart. At that time, I didn't know that I was realizing that my life was never going to be the same. My brain must have put the pieces together, and fastened itself a blanket of reason that just didn't work. And my mind was resorting to its most basic methods of dealing with stress. Anger and sadness.

At first I just glared at this baby. Even after he was fed and changed, I still despised this being. Hated it with all my heart. And then, I cried. It was the second logical step in the process. The tears stung the bridge of my nose like when you were trying to hold it back. I just ended up giving myself a headache. But, still, I cried.

It was soft and quiet, but I wasn't going to fight this natural process. I lost all control and cried for at least twenty minutes before I began rationalizing again, and the tears dried up. And, just in time, because Demyx walked in with his guitar strapped to his back. He looked out of breath. I knew why.

"Did you run here?" I asked accusingly.

Demyx set his guitar down and sat on the bed. "Yeah, I did." He studied me for a minute. "I thought he was dead."

I looked at him, startled. Why would he accuse me of something so socially unacceptable? Did he really believe that I would do something like that? Kill a baby just to get my work done? He probably did, but just didn't want to outwardly accuse me.

But, I probably would.

However, it was not a situation where such measures needed to be taken. I was not going to kill my baby. I needed to become a doctor, and that wouldn't happen if I had that kind of skeleton in my closet. Career first. So, it was at that moment that I decided that I would feed it and bathe it, or whatever one did when they were taking care of someone else. But, I would not ever love it.

"It's fine," I said. "It's sleeping."

"You mean he." Demyx corrected.

"No," I said. "I mean it."

Demyx made a sound that sounded like a mixture of relief and disgust. Obviously he was relieved to see that the baby was still breathing. But that disgust was unusual to me. I had always prided myself in as being a logical person. Play with fire, you get burned. Try to cheat death, you die. It was simple, but Demyx was sickened by my lack of affection for this stranger that now demanded every second of my attention.

He just didn't understand. But, I left it alone. He had his opinions. He could keep them. I had work to do. I sat back at my desk. The papers were still everywhere. I picked them up, shuffled through them, and pieced it back together. Once it was back in order, I tried to continue from where I had left off, but no matter how hard I focused, nothing would come to me.

"You should relax a little," Demyx said. He leaned back and strummed his guitar lazily. "You stress too much."

I didn't want to admit that the guitar was actually calming my nerves. He really was good. His music was beautiful, and it could paint pictures with sound. Now, music to me was illogical. You could not create beauty from nothing. Sound existed, yes, but the notes he memorized could not be seen floating in the air like they were commonly shown in cartoons, but I was still falling into this world that was stress free.

Until the baby started crying again. I ignored it. It was just being disruptive. Demyx, however, stopped playing that lovely music and sat up, apologizing to the baby. I don't know why he was doing that. It was just a baby. It had no feelings, or preferences, or an opinion. It just ate, slept, and shat. But, I grew almost instantly jealous that that baby was drawing Demyx's attention away from me.

I didn't have feelings for him. That much I knew, but I didn't like that the baby was intruding on my personal life. I had to pull myself together. I couldn't do anything to the baby. I could just simply put it up for adoption, but then Demyx would get mad at me, and leave me alone. And stop playing his music.

For now, I would just suck it up. Deal with the baby like I dealt with every other problem in my life. I would take care of it to the best of my ability without loving it. Then maybe I could keep maybe the only friend I ever had in my whole life. Demyx was the only person I knew who would just help with a child that wasn't his.

I almost felt bad for being so apathetic, but then again, someone was going to take care of that baby. And it wasn't going to be me.

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**Let me know how you think I did. I feel like people miss the bold text at the top and bottom of the chapters and it makes me sad.**

**Has a nice day. :) I guess this means I have two stories going at the same time. Three, really. Though I only have to write half of The Nobody Virus.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter. It's short, and I don't really have time to type out an author's not, but I'm going to try. Okay, so as I'm sure you figured out, this is supposed to be Zexion's struggles with fatherhood, but no one left any reviews. I really wanted to do this because the idea was floating in my head for a while. So, there.**

**I don't own nothing. And blah blah blah. Enjoy.**

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The next semester started without a problem. Demyx had so kindly switched to night classes so the baby could be watched while I was a school during the day. I don't know why he did that. I didn't ask him to. He just took it upon himself to change his entire life even though I was supposed to be the one doing that. But, I think we both knew that that wasn't going to happen. Someone was going to have to sacrifice.

And, again, it wasn't going to be me.

So, for months, that's how it was. I went to school during the day while Demyx watched the baby, and then he went to his night classes while I ignored the baby. Unfortunately, I had regretfully underestimated the baby's growth patterns, for whenever I would walk away from the car seat, that child would cry until he could see me again. I was astounded that this being was so clingy. And I wasn't able to get my work done as well as I usually did.

So, I did the next logical thing. I pooled as much money as I could spare. Feeding, clothing, and diapering the baby was sucking my bank account dry. There was no end in sight either, with made me dispirited. And that made me depressed. But, nevertheless, I bought a voice recognition writing software so I could write my papers while holding the little bundle that was quickly becoming a squirming bundle.

And, my grades improved. However, Demyx was beginning to get more involved with his studies, just like me, and had to leave the dorm for longer periods of time. I didn't protest. I just knew that, if I had to, that baby would cry in his car seat while I rested. I needed to be fully charged when I started taking my actual surgical practice classes. I was going to be working on the brain, so there was no room for failure. No room for mistakes.

I was sitting at my desk, drawing a chart of the brain when a soft knock alerted me to Demyx's return. That's the system we set up. Or rather, I set it up because I didn't want the baby to see me. We knock on the door softly, and the person in the room either opens the door for them if the baby is asleep, or leaves them, and the person comes in. After thirty seconds, Demyx came in, sweating and carrying a bunch of cases.

He set them down and turned back out the door. He came in with more equipment. Microphones, stands, and guitars. I watched him for a while. The baby was up, and looking straight at me, trying to gain my attention. I didn't return the unconditionally loving stare, but I glanced at it, and it seemed satisfied with that.

"What are you doing?" I asked Demyx when he finally finished and closed the door.

"I'm preparing for a gig," he answered. He seemed slightly put out, but it was probably because I hadn't even lifted a finger to help him. But, I hadn't intended to anyway, so I was fine.

But, I couldn't help my eyes falling into that holier-than-thou half lidded glare that I often got when I was annoyed. In all fairness, I was annoyed most of the time, and that had increased exponentially when that little slut showed up with the baby. I wanted to get rid of it, but I didn't have the time or the money to find it a home. And I wasn't about to just leave it somewhere, then everyone would know that it was mine, and they would shun me even more.

I couldn't help that I was better than them. I just was, and I had to maintain this illusion of perfection, or I would be cast out of my field before I even got the chance to start. I was only a few years away from my degree, and then I had seven years residency, and then I would begin to establish myself.

The only thing I needed now was to start looking for a job at a hospital. Even if it was just filing patient charts, and cleaning rooms that were empty. I was going to do that at the end of this semester, but the baby was going to take that away from me. I tried to get rid of him in every way possible. I even called my parents, and asked them, but they gave me that silence that they would when they were teaching me a lesson.

"You need to take care of your own responsibilities now, son," my dad said. I wanted to punch him in the face.

"We love you, honey," my mom sang. "We just want you to do well in life."

That, I knew was complete and utter bullshit. They didn't want to help me because they had freedom, and they were just like me, selfish beyond reason. They weren't about to give that freedom up. They didn't even want to see him. But, then again, neither did I.

I just wanted everything to disappear. I soon realized that I wasn't going to be able to go to school for much longer if I couldn't figure out a way to keep the baby alive while I was not with it. It was always crying for me now. Months flew by and it felt like I had received this barely breathing bundle of regret on my doorstep only yesterday.

It was now babbling, and drooling a lot, and I couldn't keep up with its demands. I would try to get my work done, but as soon as I got my flow started, it would cry for me. Even when Demyx was watching him so I could study for finals, all I heard was that pitiful thing's attempts at speech.

"He wants you," Demyx said, smiling as the baby giggled and kicked in his arms. "He knows you're his dad."

I spun around. "Don't you ever associate me with that thing!" I spat. "I am not its father!"

Demyx arched an eyebrow, and the baby didn't cry like I had expected, but reached out for me. Its eyes were just like mine, gray and bright. But, I could see happiness. Or at least, that's what I identified it as. It reached up for me, and I turned away. I didn't need this right now. I was busy with my work, and my lab practice final was tomorrow afternoon.

I needed to focus.

"He loves you, you know," Demyx said after a few hours. The baby was sleeping on his chest, and he was lying on the bed singing softly. I could barely hear him, but even his voice was a source of unobtainable beauty.

I didn't answer him right away. I hated that child, and it had the nerve to love me? I couldn't stand that Demyx was right, because almost as soon as he said that, that child woke up and wailed for me. I could even tell that it wanted me. It had that high pitch of happiness and slight anxiety in it. I sighed, dropping my papers and books, and I stood up and scooped that baby into my arms. It laughed as soon as it saw my uncaring face, and yanked at my hair.

I almost dropped it. I actually was thinking about it, seriously contemplating letting my arms fall to my side, so I could accidently drop that baby. I wanted him dead. Gone. Away from me and it seemed that dropping him would be the best solution to that problem. But, Demyx was here, and he was watching me, like he knew what I was thinking. I don't know how he did it, but he could read me like an open book.

He had that way about him that made me angrier at him. More because he could decode my mannerisms faster than I could analyze them. It was like he was reading my mind, and I didn't like that. I wanted to tell him to piss off, but he was my only friend. So I bit my tongue, for maybe the first and only time in my life.

"You really should love him," Demyx said to me as he made his way into the little kitchenette we had. "He really does love you, even though you ignore him."

"It doesn't matter to me," I scoffed. The baby pulled at my hair again. "It's just a distraction, and it will be taken care of."

"Stop calling him it." Demyx spat. "_He's_ your baby. _He's_ in need of love and care and attention. And _his_ name is Wes."

"Well, _it_ doesn't matter to me," I shouted. "And there isn't a God damn thing you can do about it! Just leave it the fuck alone!"

Demyx stared at me with an open mouth. I stole his words, because he was going to yell at me back. He just glared at me, grabbed his coat and stormed off. And I was glad that he was gone. He was going to go and get drunk. That's what he did when I would get on his nerves and he didn't want to sit in silence. He would leave, drink with his friends, then come back and make amends.

That pissed me off. I squeezed the baby in my arms, and it grunted in discomfort. I relaxed a little and put the baby on my bed. I figured that I needed to get some sleep. I had been sitting next to the baby for a few minutes. He babbled softly, and stared at me for a while before sleep took it to whatever world babies dreamed of. And it wasn't long before the same thing happened to me.

I had been asleep for maybe ten minutes, when I startled myself. I don't what woke me exactly, but I could feel panic rising in my chest and I looked around myself without getting up. The baby was asleep right next to me, turned on its side, clutching my shirt.

I was going to push it away, but I didn't want to wake it up, so I just laid there. I could hear it breathing softly, and when I could see it, it smiled in its sleep. I was disgusted with being so close to it. It was forming an attachment to me, and I couldn't have that. But, still, I remained there. I was tired from studying so much, and my anxiety was starting to get the better of me. I was tired now, and I knew I would still be tired tomorrow morning when I took my lab exam.

I was going to be removing a tumor from a cadaver, but the professor would be right over me, breathing down my neck while he watched my every move. Asking me questions while I worked. It was supposed to be like a real surgery, only my 'patient' wouldn't die if I fucked up. And this child forming an attachment was the last thing I needed on my mind.

"Hey."

I opened my eyes. Demyx was leaning over me, breathing on my face. He was drunk, I could smell it.

"What?" I asked. I was angry that he had been drinking. When Demyx got drunk, he usually stayed up all night, playing half assed school projects, and morbid symphonies. It still sounded beautiful, but it was annoying.

"Did you do that on purpose?"

"What?" I hissed.

"Wes." Demyx hiccupped. "He's lying right next to you. Did you finally get some sense?"

"You're drunk," I said. I pushed his face away from me.

Demyx giggled, but left me alone. He flopped on his bed, and I could hear his snores after a few minutes. I could've sworn he had classes, but I guess he wasn't going. I sighed. I couldn't stay up all night and watch this baby. I had to rest. But, it was asleep next to me. And I was sleeping stock still. I could just close my eyes for a few minutes.

But, no sooner did I do that, did that baby start crying. I sat up. I wanted to leave him, but Demyx was passed out, and I needed to get sleep, so I stood up, made a quick bottle, and shoved it in that thing's mouth. Almost instantly, it stopped crying. It looked at me with a look of pure love, and I turned away, not wanting to form a connection. If I didn't make eye contact, it wouldn't be able to love me.

I didn't need its love. I needed to pass this test. So, I laid back down, positioned myself next to the baby and fell asleep. The last thought on my mind that night was how on earth I was going to pass this test. And, I was completely unaware that I had formed a protective cocoon around the baby.

That is, until I woke the next morning.

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**So, there you go. Uhhh...For those of you who read The Nobody Virus, the next chapter will come soon. Sorry about any delays.**

**Has a nice day. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, everyone. I come to you with a new chapter. I liked this one extra much because so much happens in here. It's like a treat that you even got this today. Today is my last day for math classes for two weeks, and I think I might have failed my final, but that's okay. I have to give a final presentation on Math in nature, and I'm totally unprepared, but I think I'll do okay.**

**Anyways, enjoy the chapter. I'm off to type the next one after I post this. You might even have a new chapter tonight. It all depends on if my dad will let me on the computer to do my other work that needs to be done.  
**

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I had woken up at least three or four times last night, constantly worrying that my alarm wasn't set. Naturally, it was, and I was just panicking for no reason other than the anxiety of my exam. But, this test was the most important one of them all. If I failed this test, I'd fail this class. And if I failed the class, I would never be a surgeon. I had only one chance. And I couldn't blow it.

But, at four in the morning, the baby woke up and cried. And it cried for hours. I picked it up, and it cried. I fed it. I changed it. I rocked it. And I even resorted to that disgusting act of cooing to it, but it didn't stop. It cried, long and hard, for hours without letting up. Not even a little. And just as I was about to give up, it stopped.

Demyx hadn't budged. No, he was still passed out. I nudged his leg with mine, hoping that he would wake up, but he didn't. He probably had a few White Russians. He would only be out like that when he had that drink. Or, like, three of them. And I wanted so badly to kick him.

I glanced at the clock again. It was six. And the first thing that came to me was the realization that I only had two hours until the beginning of my test. I was tired, sleep deprived, and on the verge of murder. But, I pulled myself together quickly and sat down at my desk. Demyx was still snoring, and I wanted to kill that motherfucker. I sighed inwardly, he had left me alone. I was filled with resentment, but I pushed that aside.

The baby started making sounds. It sounded irritated, and I prayed that it wouldn't start up again. I stood up, and stood over Demyx, shuddering with hate.

"Hey," I said loudly. I kicked what part of Demyx that I could reach, and he cracked open a bleary eye.

"What?" He groaned. I could hear he had a hangover, and was still pissed about what happened last night. Even though when he saw the baby, he cracked a smile.

I didn't look at him. "Could you watch this so I could get a little sleep before my exam?"

Demyx sat up. He rubbed his head, and groaned. He ignored me as he went into the bathroom and popped a couple of aspirin. He drank some milk out of the carton and ruffled his hair in annoyance. "Why would I watch _it_? It _is _yours, right?"

"Demyx!" I cried.

"Say the magic word." He wagged his finger at me, taunting me in every way imaginable. He knew I wouldn't kill the baby because I valued my reputation. And he was purposely being like that.

I resisted that goading tone as much as I could. I knew I needed him. And he probably did too. I think he was forcing me to acknowledge the baby as another human being. "Please…" I was stressing with that word. I wasn't used to begging for things like that.

"Please, what?"

"Demyx!" I yelled. "Stop antagonizing me!"

He folded his arms. "Listen, I know you better than you think I do. You're making a huge mistake, leaving Wes like that. I'm trying to help you."

"You are being a prick!"

"And you are being a bitch!"

I opened and closed my mouth several times, but I didn't say anything. Demyx never cursed. Not even when I would wear him down with my uncaring attitude, or harsh remarks. Or, at least I've never heard him curse until today.

"I don't understand why you're getting so uptight about it!" I screamed. "It's just a baby. A simple thing that stops the ambitious and gets in the way of success. It's a nuisance."

"He's your son."

"He is not my son!"

There was silence between us. He looked at me like I had just killed someone, and then that face broke into a small smile. I ignored him, put the baby on the bed and stormed off. He and I both knew that I had just done something terrible. I called the baby a he.

Demyx didn't try to stop me. In fact, he moved to the side as I pulled on my coat and went off to class. Even though I would arrive two hours early, I didn't care. I couldn't believe that I had just done that. Acknowledged the baby like it was another person. I mentally stabbed myself, and groaned. I hated myself. But, instead of stressing myself out more than I already was, I just went to the library to get some studying done before the exam.

I gathered books and sat at the farthest desk away from everyone else. I immersed myself in the human brain, going over the different sections like I was chanting an ancient spell. I had to pass this test. I knew I knew the information, and I had shown extraordinary skill during our practice labs. I could do this without a hitch. The only problem was that I was tired. Really tired.

And my exhaustion was beginning to get to me. I had fallen asleep still looking at the same chart. I shook my head and stretched. I needed to be awake. I actually needed a cup of coffee, or something with caffeine in it, but I knew that that would make my hands shaky. That was a bad thing for a surgeon.

"Hey, Zexion."

I looked up, and another student was sitting across from me. I hadn't even noticed her sit down. I glared at her. She was a girl in my class. I think her name was Larxene, and I heard she was a real bitch. I ignored her. She was just in one of my study hall classes, and she was always scratching the tables with needles and scalpels she stole from the surgery labs. I didn't like her.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to ask you a question," she said.

I closed my books. When I had looked at my watch, I pined when I saw my exam was in half an hour. That little nap wasn't enough for me. I stood up without a word and put the books back on the shelf. Larxene followed me, still pestering me about whatever it was she wanted.

"Hey, I'm trying to ask you a question." Larxene huffed. "The least you could do is ask what it is."

I looked at her. "I don't care what it is. I have an exam I need to get to."

"Well, I'm going to ask you anyway." Larxene grabbed my arm. "Do you have a baby living with you?"

I shook her away. "That's none of your business."

"Actually," she rushed in front of me and spread her arms out. "I've been hired as the new dorm supervisor. So, it is my business. Do you have a baby living in your dorm?"

"Technically," I explained, pushing her out of the way. "I do, but it isn't breaking any rules, so you can get the fuck out of my way."

She turned on her heels, "Why don't you love him?"

I froze for a second, but chose to continue without speaking. She had no right to ask me about that. That was my business. And Demyx's, since he was the primary caretaker. Larxene was just being like the rumors portrayed her, a bitch. And a lying one at that. I had already checked with my dorm supervisor about that child, and it was permitted to live with me.

I was barely paying attention to my surroundings, lost in my own thoughts and disgust. That word kept floating in my head. He. And I punished myself for using it, even when it was necessary. I couldn't keep saying the person's name in conversation. That was strange, and I couldn't afford a nervous breakdown right now.

The lab was set up in little cubicles. Each one was occupied by a professor. Different ones from different departments. They were all certified brain surgeons, and they were just loaning their services for the purpose of this exam. My name was hanging up next to one of the cubicles, and I was relieved to see that my Professor for the semester was the one evaluating me.

"Good morning, Dr. Fitzpatrick," I said solemnly.

"Oh, don't be so nervous." He laughed and patted me on the back. "If you do as well as you did on last week's practice, you will fly through this. I have complete confidence in you."

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Now, I have to explain how you will be taking this test." Dr. Fitzpatrick said. He suddenly sounded serious. "You will have to explain every step you take as you take it. Because your 'patient' is a cadaver, it will not be able to tell us what's happening to his brain. So, students have volunteered to be the 'patients'."

I raised an eyebrow.

"No, you're not going to operate on them, but they will be the voice of the cadaver. As you say certain keywords, they will react with a memory, smell, and whatnot. This is how I will evaluate you. Based on procedures taken, and how the 'patient' reacts. It is your job to be the doctor."

"Sounds simple enough." I whispered.

"The exam is about to begin. Patients, take your places."

I changed into my scrubs and lab coat. This was the part of the exam that I knew I would struggle with. I had to consult with the patient. I had to give the appearance of care and concern even though I couldn't care less about them. I was just there to get rid of the problem and help them move on.

But, my heart fell into my stomach when I saw that girl, Larxene walking up to me. She looked smug, like she was going do something to me. I knew she had ill intentions. It was written all over her face. I sucked in a sharp breath and looked her straight in the eye.

"We meet again, Zexion," she hummed.

"Well, Fate sure had a way of fucking me." I whispered to myself. I wasn't sure if she heard me or not, but it didn't matter, I was screwed.

"I hope you do well."

I glared at Larxene and crossed my fingers. It was going to be a long exam.

So, I returned home with a heavy heart. The entire exam was spent with me trying to keep Larxene at a manageable level. She kept screaming, like I was torturing her, even though I went through every step for removing a tumor in the frontal lobe. At every keyword, she would make exaggerated accusations, and complain of pains in her sides. She was making attempts to sabotage me, but I wasn't sure how well it worked until I got home.

* * *

Demyx was gone, as was the baby. I forcefully reminded myself that the baby was it, and not he. I couldn't help but get that empty feeling at seeing that I was alone. I wanted someone to talk to. But, there it was. Staring back at me. Myself in a mirror across the room. I looked strange.

Upon closer examination, I realized that I looked sad. Unappreciated, and spiteful. I terrified myself, but I shook those self-conscious feeling away and focused. The phone rang, but I was too depressed to think about answering that call. Misery loved company, and I wasn't feeling that hospitable.

"Please leave your message after the beep…"

I glanced at the answering machine, but still did not pick up the phone. Voicemail was one of the few greater inventions of the late twentieth century. And I prided myself in using it often; especially when Demyx would call me and invite me to the party he was at. He always knew I was there, so he would address me by name. I was unnerved by that sometimes. But he was just being Demyx.

"_This message is concerning the student Zexion Harrison…"_

I still didn't pick up the phone. I didn't like talk to people, especially when they had a 'message concerning the student Zexion Harrison', it always made me nervous when people would call.

"_This is to inform you that you failed your final exam…"_

My heart dropped into my stomach for the second time that day. Those words echoed in my head over and over again. You failed…

"_You will be required to attend a hearing before the school medical board to discuss your next course of action. You hearing is scheduled for the eighteenth of July, and you will be expected to be there with an attorney. We hope this does not inconvenience you. Have a nice day."_

When the answering machine stopped, I sank into my bed, wishing it would swallow me up. I had failed this test. I couldn't even think of the words to accurately describe my feelings. I was lost. Broken.

I heard a knock on the door, and Demyx came in, looking as chipper as the first day I met him. He seemed much more excited that usual, but how could he not? His senior concert was in a week, and he was going to celebrate graduation with me. But, upon seeing my distress, he frowned.

"What's wrong?"

I didn't look at him. The emotion was getting the better of me. I turned away from him, and the sting of tears were beginning to overwhelm me. I stayed as silent as possible, for I knew if I opened my mouth, I would burst into hysterical cries. Demyx put down the bags he was carrying and sat next to me.

"What happened?" He asked softly.

I shuddered. I resisted the urge to cry, but as soon as I opened my mouth I broke down. "I failed!"

The shock on Demyx's face astounded even me. He seemed angry, but not at me. "What? How is that even possible?"

"I-I-I did everything right." I said. I jumped to my feet, trying to convince myself that I did nothing wrong. But, even so, I was just trying to lie to myself. They wouldn't have failed me if I did everything right.

"I don't understand," Demyx whispered. "You told me it went well."

"It did!" I screamed. I didn't know what I was saying. I was sad, but that was turning into anger very fast. Then, it spiraled out of control. I wasn't sure if I was crying or screaming, seeing as I felt so desolate I was about to stab myself in the heart.

Demyx wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He smiled, and I hated him for it. "Come on, let's go get a drink."

"I'm not going for a drink, Demyx!" I yelled. I pushed him away, but he still looked sad and understanding. "Stop being like that! You don't know shit!"

Demyx pulled my hand. "Well, I know you can't do a thing about it now, so you might as well."

"I…"

"Come on," he whined. "Wes is at my parents house, and I was supposed to celebrate with you. But, now we can mope together."

I calmed, slightly caught off guard by Demyx's approach to the situation. He was right. I couldn't do anything about my problem until two weeks from now. So…I might as well.

So, I let him take me to this place he would always go to. He kept pushing drinks in my direction, and I can honestly say that I had the best night out ever. And it was the first time that there was no responsibility to do anything. No studying for any exams or finals. No homework, no papers. I didn't have a thesis to write. I was free.

At least just for this one night.

And when we returned to the dorm, I was shitfaced. I was hanging onto Demyx like some whore who had too many Cosmos. But, I felt great, and I wanted to thank Demyx. He was a pain in my ass, but his heart was in the right place. I kissed his cheek.

Why I did that, I had no idea. I think that was the alcohol, because I didn't have feelings for Demyx that way. But, he blushed, and I kissed him again. My brain was telling me to stop, but my body wasn't listening. I suppose I was sexually frustrated, and Demyx was the only one there.

I kissed him again, but instead of just his cheek, I moved down his body, and he shivered with longing. I could feel it. I knew Demyx was gay, or at least bisexual. And it was no secret that he liked me. A lot, and I was out of it. He kissed me back, being just as drunk. I wanted him so badly, but my brain was constantly fighting me.

"Demyx," I breathed in his ear. "I want you."

He happily obliged me, and we ending up in his bed. But, just as I was about fuck him, I blacked out.

I could remember moving around in this drunken darkness. Trying to find things in a stupor that was unbreakable. I felt like I was floating on a stress free cloud, and that Demyx was there to catch me. He really did appreciate me, and I was beginning to think that maybe failing that test wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to me.

* * *

**I actually want to hear what you think Zexion did. I'm curious. I mean, you really only have like three choices. But, no one reads the author notes at the end anyway.**

**Has a nice day. :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Good Morning to all. Haji here. I'm so sad because I typed this whole chapter this morning, and when I went to import it here, half the entire file was gone because word didn't save it when I had told it to. So, I had to retype the chapter, and I liked the first version better. But, that's what happens.**

**There are only going to be two more chapters after this. This was supposed to be a ficlet, so That's where I'm drawing the line. I actually need help on this. I wasn't sure if i want Demyx and Zexion to be together or not. Cast your votes now. I really need help. I have an ending planned out for each version, but I want your input.**

**Enjoy.  
**

* * *

The next morning, I felt like my head had been split open. I was under bunched covers, and I felt so slow. The memories of last night were flooding my mind. Failing the exam, drinking with Demyx, coming home shitfaced, making out with him.

I shot up. Making out with Demyx! I held my head as it ripped open. I couldn't believe that I had let go like that. I had been irresponsible, and I paid dearly for it. I looked down at myself. My chest was exposed, and I could see little bite marks. And I was wearing the shirt Demyx wore the night before. I shivered.

"Oh, shit," I whispered.

I looked next tome, and sure enough, Demyx was curled under his blankets, snoring softly. His hair was messed up, and he had this tiny grin on his face. I was dying inside. I had slept with him!

"Oh, shit." I hurried out of his bed and jumped into the shower, hoping to God that I wasn't ever going to remember what happened in that black space that was my night with Demyx. I wasn't gay. I didn't even like him as a person, much less as a lover. I scrubbed my skin red raw, feeling ashamed of myself for losing control like that.

"Zexion?"

I froze. I could hear Demyx on the other side of the bathroom door. I turned the water off, threw on some pajama pants and wrapped a towel around my shoulders. I cracked the door open and peeked through. Demyx was right there. I glared at him.

"Get the fuck away from me."

He glared back. "What's your deal?"

"Just leave!"

"Hey, what's the problem?" He spat. "You had a good time last night."

I looked down and frowned deeply. I felt so bad about last night that I couldn't even thank him for helping me loosen up. I knew I was being a prick. And he didn't really deserve it. I cracked the door wider.

"We didn't…?"

Demyx smiled, relieved. He shook his head and pushed the door open all the way and I came out. I was hanging my head like a child, just looking so desperate. He hugged me, and I couldn't help but flinch at his touch.

"I would never do that to you," he whispered. "I would never take advantage of you like that."

I relaxed a little, but still felt a little bad about what I had been thinking About saying to him. I think he just understood me. Just knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. I just wanted to hug him back, but I couldn't allow myself to get weak. He let me go and went to the answering machine.

I cried inside as I heard that morbid message again. I had failed. I had a hangover, and I really wasn't in the mood for bad news that had already torn my life asunder. I just wanted to disappear.

"We're going to have to do something about this," Demyx said. "I can't graduate without you by my side. Figuratively speaking."

I knew what he meant. He didn't want to move on with his life without me doing the same. We had shared this place for a little more and four years, and we had formed a sort of disjointed relationship. It didn't help that I had almost ruined that relationship last night. But, he stopped me. I was mildly surprised that he hadn't taken advantage of me.

I mean, I was an asshole for a long time. I would openly insult him, and call him out when he was at some of his lowest points. And, yet, he still respected me as a person. The playing field had altered considerably in only a few hours. I used to be above him, but now he would have to dig a hole to get to where I was.

I felt like shit. Worse than shit. But, I tried my best to shrug it off. I knew I was a different person. I think Fate had given me a huge slice of humble pie. I didn't like it very much, but then something occurred to me. The baby wasn't here.

"Where's…?" I stopped. Compassion wasn't my forte.

Demyx smiled. "It's okay, you can ask."

"I'd rather not," I hissed. I poked my tongue out, and I didn't realize that I had done something so childish until Demyx laughed at me. I think in that moment we became friends, because I realized at that point that I would do just about anything for him.

I was soft. I'll admit it. I'm not proud of that moment, but then my most pressing concern presented itself again.

"Don't worry, buddy," Demyx said, wiping away his tears. "Wes is at my parent's house. Or is it about your hearing?"

"What the fuck am I going to do about that?" I said, waving my arms. "That stupid bitch sabotaged me. Larxene. She was purposely being annoying, just so I could fail. She knew it would affect me."

Demyx shrugged. "Then present your case."

"I can't afford a lawyer."

"I could call in a favor." He shrugged again. "I mean, there's this guy who owes me."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I can take care of myself. I'll just gather my evidence and go before them, and pray they'll let me retake the test."

"I thought you said they didn't let people retake the test."

"They don't," I confirmed sadly. "But, if I present enough legitimate evidence. They may reconsider. They would see sabotage as a form of cheating. Cheating done by another student to purposely throw me off."

"How will you prove that?"

I shrugged. I honestly had no idea how I was going to prove that some girl I shared a class with once wanted to sabotage me. I mean, I didn't even know her that well. I could barely remember what her name was when she had first introduced herself to me. I was screwed, and I knew it.

But, Demyx had faith, and he told me he would help, even though I refused his help. Just because I sort of considered him a friend of a sort, didn't mean he could just waltz into my life and do what he pleased.

I wasn't going to accept his charity. I wasn't going to allow him to pity me. I wanted my future back, not pity. Pity didn't get anyone anything in life. I had to figure this out on my own. So, Demyx went to pick up the baby, and I went to the school library, so I could figure out how to plead my case. I had a little under a week. I could fix this in that short amount of time.

Everybody watched me as I moved about. Word of my failure had spread faster than I thought possible. I thought that I would be able to suffer in secrecy, but that would never happen. As soon as everyone else found out, I was visited by the Salutatorian, a guy named Victor something.

He was generally a smug guy. A lot like me, only he could rub anything in anyone's face because he was second place. But, he sure did try. And even though he wasn't as good as me, he would still gloat. When he heard about my exam, he was the first to tell me exactly how the world was.

"So," he said to me while I was sitting by myself. "I heard you fucked up."

I smirked. "You enjoy your seat on top. Maybe then you'll finally fuck something."

"You can take your failure and shove it in your ass, you prick."

I laughed softly. "Then you can take your degree and do the same. I will still be better than you." I stood up. "Everyone knows Larxene sabotaged me. It's all a matter of proving it."

Victor sputtered, but I had already taken my leave. The library wasn't going to be an option for me anymore. I had to figure it out alone at home. I packed my bag and headed off, being sure to avoid everyone who wanted to talk to me. I kept my eyes down, quickened my pace, and avoided conversation.

I was just about to open the door to my new prison for a week, when a stern cough distracted me. I looked up, turned around, and began to say something, but I didn't get the chance to spit my words out when I came face to face that little slut.

The baby's mother. She was standing right there, crossing her arms like she was entitled to something. She was tapping her foot, and I wanted to choke her. She definitely had some nerve to show up like this. Unannounced, and uninvited.

"What do you want?" I growled at her.

"I want my baby back." She answered. "Wes. I want him."

I laughed. It wasn't funny. Not ha-ha funny, but I found it strange that she was showing up right now to take that child. It seemed like it was too good timing. But, I wasn't arguing with her. She could have it. I didn't care.

"It's not here," I said, opening the door. "Demyx has him."

"You're roommate?" she huffed. "You left our baby with your roommate?"

"No," I corrected her. I was bristling, but she was never going to use that tone around me. She was a disrespectful bitch. "You left it here with me. You left it with me, when you knew I wouldn't take care of it. _You _left it with Demyx. Not me."

"I want my baby!" she screamed.

"You can have him!"

I gasped softly and slammed the door before she could say anything. I had done it again. I called the baby he. Him. I acknowledged it. But, I was feeling a little more pressed than usual to fix my problems, so I decided to sit at my computer and research.

I was good at that. Researching. I did it a lot and had refined it to an art. I was becoming a lawyer in a week. I had to. I had to become the same kind of person a lawyer eventually became over several years, in a week. And I suppose I wasn't going to be that good at it, considering that I wouldn't suggest anyone to look up brain surgery and then attempt it a week later.

But desperate times called for desperate measures. And I was desperate.

I spent that week, holed up in that dorm, pouring over files and textbooks that Demyx got for me, and watching the baby. I wasn't going to risk losing him, since I felt that it was the real reason I formed this friendship with Demyx. It was the only thing we had in common.

A baby that didn't belong to either of us.

* * *

That week flew by faster that I thought it would. And I spent so much time with that baby, that I was calling it he more and more often. I used to flinch whenever I would slip up, but I figured that it was just easier on everybody if I just ignored that feeling I would get whenever it looked at me.

But, I had to focus that morning. I had my hearing, and I ended up giving in to Demyx and letting him hire that attorney friend of his, though I told him that I had collected evidence over the week. He seemed surprised that I was so well prepared.

I think he was thinking that I would be some big shot playboy who couldn't keep my mouth shut. I was smug when I proved his assumptions false. I shook his hand, and headed into the hearing room. But, my heart was betraying me. I was a nervous wreck. When I fist saw all the stern faces that would be deciding my fate, I resisted the urge to scream 'fuck' at the top of my lungs.

They were downright terrifying. All looking at me like I had cheated on the exam, rather than just snap at a glorified 'patient'. I wanted to tell them that they were making a mistake, but I would have my chance soon. I just had to keep my cool and make sure I was convincing. And, it didn't help that the baby was floating in my mind's eye. It was like I wanted Fate to side with me so I could give he baby a chance in life.

I couldn't be a garbage man for the rest of my life. I wasn't going to allow it.

Well, the hearing went as usual. They presented me with the accusation, and told me what their proposed course of action was. They had their own team of lawyers. A team of them. Probably one for every sentence in my school contract. Needless to say, I was intimidated. Scared out of my own God damn mind.

"We regret to inform you that our decision is final, Mr. Harrison." One of the lawyers said to me. "We will not budge for you. You have failed this exam, so you must leave."

"Now hold on just a second," I blurted. "You can't just make a decision like that without listening to my case."

The lawyer looked at me, surprised by my out burst. Surely, he didn't believe that I was just going to let him throw my life away without a fight. No, he was mistaken. He arched an eyebrow at my lawyer, who nudged me. And I pleaded my case.

And I think I was damn convincing. I explained my views on brain surgery, and how grossly out of proportion the whole ordeal was. I explained that my 'patient', seeing as if I had used Larxene's name, they would think I was breaching our mock doctor-patient confidentiality agreement, was in distress, and was merely over exaggerating her comments. I explained that she was not a brain surgeon, nor was she a doctor, so she could not accurately describe the pains of brain probing.

I was polite, concise, sure of myself in every way, making sure I presented hard evidence to back myself up. I think everyone in the room was astounded at my ability to adapt to this situation. I surprised even myself, but I didn't back down.

When they left for deliberation, I was shaking. This was worse than the time I had my first exam. I was a freshman, and I had my first exam. Even though it was a dead body, I still had the shakes. The same shakes I had now. Only these ones were really violent.

"You'll make it."

I couldn't really believe him, but I had that faint glimmer of hope that even the hardcore skeptics had when they were in the midst of Fate. We stayed in that room for hours, and I spent most of that time worrying. I found that peculiar because I usually didn't worry. And it was more what I was worrying about than anything else. I couldn't help it, but I was worried that the baby's mother was harassing Demyx while I was here.

I worried that she had taken him, and was planning to run away. I didn't want that. I couldn't lose the two things in my whole life that would still be there if my chances for reconciliation were dashed. I was hanging on by only a thread. But, I kept cool as the medical board filed in with their lawyers, and stared me down. I could sense their hostility.

And I stayed silent, knowing that they were going to give me my final chance at a life, or take it all away.

"Zexion," said the Chairman. "We have been deliberating in whether or not to let you retake that exam."

He frowned deeper. Is that what they were doing? Is that that what they were doing while I was stuck in here? I stabbed myself for that self-sarcasm, and bit my tongue.

"You're a lucky man, Mr. Harrison. The board has come to a decision." The Chairman explained. "You have been granted permission to retake the final exam."

I breathed a sigh of relief that echoed in that boardroom like a wave.

"If it were up to me, you would be sending the rest of your life, shuffling through dead end jobs as a failure. But," he added with a bitter tone on his mouth. "You're a lucky man. If I didn't love my nephew so much, you would be a loser for the rest of your life."

I didn't understand why he was using that tone with me. It made me feel upset that I had worked my ass off for so many years, and they were so willing to just abandon me like that and throw me under the bus. I was their best student. They loved showing me off to people, earning grants because I was such a hard worker. I didn't understand where that hostility came from.

"The board believes that you presented enough evidence to prove that Larexene Harper did, in fact, sabotage you for the gain of someone else. You were unable to prove who would do such a thing, but you have made your case."

I smiled, but kept it as contained as possible. I didn't want them to change their minds mid way.

"However," the Chairman continued. "You deserved to fail that exam, Mr. Harrison. You did not handle the consultation well at all. I have heard the audio. I could only imagine the look on your face as you explained your procedure. It disgusted me, but you have won your case. You will not be permitted to stay on campus." He glanced at the other board members. "You have a week to move out, and you are no longer welcome here. If you pass your final exam, we will mail you your diploma and certification."

I stood up, but still did not say anything.

"You have a week to move out."

I bowed my head and shook every one of their hands, even though I could sense their distaste. It unnerved me that they were just so willing to throw my life away like that. And they were angry that I had outsmarted them.

But, I didn't waste time. I packed my bags and departed, Demyx's lawyer friend following me closely. He looked relieved as well, though he didn't do much.

"You did a good job back there," he said to me. "I was impressed that you could learn our lingo so quickly. You knew exactly what you were doing."

"Thanks," I mumbled. I really didn't feel like talking.

Everyone I passed looked at me with the same disgust in their face. They were on the board's side, and didn't want me to stay. I didn't know why they were so hostile. I never did anything to them. I believe they were all jealous of me, because I had managed to prove my case. Needless to say, Larxene was expelled, and she made sure to make a spectacle of herself.

But, I left my lawyer, and unlocked my door, and walked in to an expecting Demyx. He was sitting on the bed with the baby in his arms, and he was smiling. I could see he was worried, trying to gauge my look so he could formulate some kind of pep talk, or something like that.

"How did it go?"

I ignored him, falling into that same pattern that I had developed before. I flopped on my bed and said nothing. I heard him stand and sit on my bed. I could feel his body heat hovering in my space, and I wanted to push him away, but I was too tired.

There was something bothering me about what the chairman said. He practically told me that he didn't want me there. That he wanted me to live my life as a loser and nothing more. I don't know why he allowed them to permit me my retest. But, then, he said something about his nephew.

He said he loved him too much. And then I began to wonder why he would even mention it. And who his nephew was. And I wondered why Demyx was staying in a medical school dorm when he was studying music at a different school. Then I sat up.

"You're the Chairman's nephew."

Demyx smiled, but frowned afterward. "Yeah, I was hoping he wouldn't say anything about that."

I don't know why he would do something like that. I was a real asshole to him for years. I was never polite to him, insulted him openly, and called him out on his past failures when it was most inconvenient for him. There was no body I knew who would go out of their way to do something like that for me. No one.

"It's no secret that I like you. I figured you out the first week I got here," Demyx said. "You were a selfish, arrogant, prick who made life miserable for everyone. But, I liked you instantly."

Why was he telling me this? He was explaining himself to me, and I didn't appreciate it one bit. Something happened.

"And I knew you would never share the feelings I had for you with me." Demyx said. I was making him sad, I could see it. "I just wanted you. And when you were drunk, I wanted to sleep with you, I really did. But, I knew you would never talk to me again if I did that. And I couldn't let that happen."

I opened my mouth, but didn't say anything.

"You overlooked all the little things I did for you," Demyx whispered. "I tried everything I could to impress you, but you still never talked to me."

"Demyx," I started, but he stopped me.

"I'm leaving after my senior concert," he said.

I stopped. "Where are you going?"

"I'm moving to New York." He paused and put the baby in his walker. "I got a contract and they want me there as soon as I finish school."

"I have to move out in a week," I said quickly. "I guess this is where we…part ways?"

"I've got an idea." Demyx stood up, smiling that way he did when he was hatching a plot. "You could come with me. You and Wes. I would love to have you." He started to move around excitedly. "We could be roommates again."

"But, Demyx…"

"I mean, it would be tough, but we could do it. You and me…and Wes."

"Demyx!" I cried. "We can't be roommates forever. I've got my old life back. You need to move on. Find your own path, and get your own lovers. Just not me."

I had no idea why I was so angry, but I was. Probably because I had my second chance, and didn't appreciate Demyx anymore. I just wanted to be left alone.

I didn't look at Demyx as he left. I could hear him moving around, and I could hear that I hurt him. After everything that he did for me, I was still a selfish conceited asshole. But, before he slammed the door, he turned back to me.

"I'm going to rehearsal. My senior concert is on Thursday. I hope you'll come." He paused. "I wouldn't mind, you know." He sighed heavily, sad that I wasn't answering him. "I left the address on the fridge. You and Wes are welcome, but that's your decision now, I guess."

The door snapped shut, and I just stared into that black void that I fastened for myself. I truly felt like a loser. I had three years to pull myself together, and I had to figure it out right now. I was begging to lose at the things that made me happy, and I was just letting it happen. But, I could break everything as soon as I started to fix it. I needed to make things right.

I had to do something.

* * *

**So, I'm done for now. I'll start the next chapter tomorrow or something, but I've got to go now. Crappy schoolwork to do. And I'm sorry about Zexion's last name fail. I didn't want to use Fender like in The Nobody Virus, because these are two different Zexions. Zexion Fender would have killed Wes when he first showed up.**

**Anyway. Has a nice day. :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Good afternoon, peoples. Haji here with Chapter 5. And i also have some news. I think this might be a little longer than six chapters. I tell you this, only because the chapter flows are flowing a little bit differently for me now. So far, it's looking like it might be seven or eight chapters instead. So, REJOICE! Just thought I'd let you know. However, this is still going to be a ficlet.**

**Sorry. Enjoy anyway.  
**

* * *

Despite my better judgment, I dragged myself out of bed that Thursday, and got ready. I had called Demyx's parents, and they were willing to watch the baby while I was trying to get my shit together. It was awkward asking them for a favor like that, but I figured that Demyx had told them enough about me. And, I was right. They took the baby without hesitation.

But, that wasn't the important thing to me right now. I packed up a bag and left my dorm, ready to grovel on my hands and knees to the only person I truly cared about. I think I knew exactly where he was going too.

I thought I knew him at least well enough to know where he'd go when he was feeling as bad as I had made him feel. I thought I remembered him telling me about this girl he used to know a few years ago. Xion, I think. But, I knew her dorm was close by, so that's where he'd be.

I managed to find my way, after asking for directions. The music students at Demyx's school were all very uptight. They seemed to not want to help, me, but after hearing about my wanting to see Demyx, they kindly led me to Xion's dorm. I thanked them quickly, but turned my attention to this next obstacle.

I knocked on the door, and my nerves were once again getting the better of me. My knees were shaking in time with drum beats, and guitars, and pianos that seemed to be lurking everywhere in this school. It wasn't long before a girl opened the door. She was short, with black hair cropped at her neck. She was cute, but when she saw me, she grew ugly.

"What do you want, asshole?" She asked harshly.

"Is Demyx here?"

"Came to kick him while he's down, huh?" she said. "Yeah, he's here, but I'm not letting you in."

"Could I please just talk to him," I asked. "I just need to tell him something."

"I think you've said enough to him."

"Please…"

Xion thought for a second. She seemed to be hesitating. She knew that by letting me in, she would both make Demyx happy, and very very sad. She wanted to let me in, but she wanted to protect Demyx more, so she swiftly and quietly closed the door without another word.

I stood there for a long time. I just couldn't lose everything. I waited there, thinking that she would change her mind, knowing on the inside that she wasn't going to. But, as I was about to leave, she cracked the door.

"Here," she said, handing me a small bag. "Demyx likes candy."

I didn't think I fully understood what she was asking me to do. But, I accepted the token and departed, feeling on the inside that I was going to have to confront him at his concert. There was no way around it. I had to make things right between us.

I milled around Demyx's school for a few hours. I was waiting for Demyx's parents to come. They were going to keep the baby with them so I could do what I had to. I was grateful for their understanding, and privately wondered why they were being so kind to me. But, I think I saw that look of understanding in their eyes, and they knew exactly what I was going through.

As night approached, more and more people were showing up. I scanned the crowd, looking for Demyx's parents. They were close by, but I still couldn't find them. And I was ushered through to the other end of the massive amphitheatre.

I protested their attempts at pushing me, but I still followed their orders. I was trying to get to the stage area, and I was being thwarted the whole way. It was like every force in the universe was getting in my way. And I was fighting back.

But, I eventually had to stop and take a seat when the house lights dimmed. There was clapping. It was soft and gentle, like it didn't want to disturb the genius behind the curtain. I fell silent. I had to wait until the concert was over to make my move. All I had to do was apologize, right?

Say I'm sorry.

There was silence for a long time. The lights on stage faded up, and a single man, Demyx, stepped onto stage. He was wearing a suit, with traditional coattails. And he had those same white gloves that conductors used.

"Starting onstage is Demyx Sturgis, and instead of directing his orchestra, he will be performing a piece with his partner, Xion Kollwitz. The orchestra may exit the stage…"

The announcer's voice was smooth, and the orchestra move from their seats, exiting without making a sound. I watched with bated breath because I knew I had only one chance to make this right. And that time was now.

I edged out of my seat as the crowd started whispering to each other again. I weaved down the aisles and almost made it to the stage when an usher stopped me. He kept pushing me back, telling me that I had to take a seat. He forced me down next to a woman who turned her nose up at me.

"Sir, please stay in your seat."

The crowd fell silent again, and they clapped politely. Demyx stood in the middle of the stage with a violin. It was strange looking, dark and light blue, and the normal body of the violin was absent. And it took me a second to realize he was using an electric violin. He scanned the crowd, probably looking for me. He was frowning, and I knew he thought I wasn't there.

But, nevertheless, he took his position, held the alien instrument to his neck, and began the most beautiful piece of music I had ever heard. I could recognize the sound. It was the same one he would always play when he was trying to pass time. The one he used to strum on his guitar.

The song he wrote for me.

And he played it better than all those years combined. There was such emotion in the way he would sway back and forth, and the way he kept his eyes half closed in his dance of heavenly mirth. Though, I could distinctly hear the sadness. The emptying feeling of hopelessness that paraded around my ears, and I knew that he was crushed. Hurt beyond repair.

I had done that to him.

That last note rang in the theater forever. It was his last plea, and he thought it was falling on deaf ears. He thought that the one person, who should have been there, wasn't, and I could see him falter when he exited the stage. I jumped to my feet. I had to let him know that I came. But, again, the usher forced me back down, for the concert wasn't over yet.

It was for me though. I remembered that Demyx had said that he was going to be leaving as soon as his concert was over, and it was getting down to the wire. The usher was right there though. And he watched me carefully. I wasn't going to be able to get away. Not now.

I sank in my seat, wishing to God that I could escape. I had done the worst thing ever, and I wasn't entirely sure if I was going to be able to fix it. I was there for hours, clutching that stupid bag of candy that Xion had given me. I didn't even open it because I didn't want it to be empty. I could hear stuff inside, but those could have been rocks, or something like that. Empty.

When the concert was over, I rushed out to try and find Demyx, but I was stopped yet again. This time, by Xion herself.

"You fucked up," she said.

I froze. She didn't even have to explain it to me. Demyx was gone. Forever, and I had missed him, because I was being so stupid. You would think with a brain like mine, I could have seen this coming, but no, I didn't. And I was going to pay dearly for it.

"Where did he go?"

Xion smiled at me. "Away from you." She paused. "You really hurt him."

"But I came, didn't I?"

"Yes, you came." She stared at me, and shook her head slightly. "You don't get it, do you?"

I opened my mouth, but didn't say anything. Truthfully, no, I didn't get it. And I'm sure the point was right there, and I was just ignoring it. I think it needed to beat me over the head, but even then, I don't think I would get it. Xion flushed angrily.

"You lost out, you asshole," she said. I didn't like her blatancy, but she was right. "You ruined his life. He really did care for you. I just didn't think you could be so…thick."

She turned away, but not before taking that small bag of candy. "You don't deserve him. I hope you rot."

I found that to be a bit strange, but I shrugged it away and found Demyx's parents. Maybe they would be kinder to my obliviousness. They were waiting for me outside, next to their car. They were crying, and no doubt, it was about Demyx.

"Thank you for watching him, Mr. and Mrs. Sturgis," I said, taking Wes.

"It was no problem," Mr. Sturgis said. "By the way, did you talk to Demyx before he left? He seemed a little distant."

"I…" I was going to try and explain myself, but I just couldn't find the words. That was a first for me, and I think at that moment that I had just been served my second slice of humble pie. I wanted to spit it back out.

What did I need it for? After all, I did get my life back. Things were normal again to a certain point, and I was on my high horse. So, why was everything falling apart? I left Demyx's parents and went home, flopping on my bed after putting Wes in his own space.

Demyx was gone. All his stuff had been moved out, and I had three days to ship out. I had nowhere to go though. I had called my parents, and they never called me back. I think they didn't ever want to speak with me again, because they didn't have to anymore. They just wanted to live their lives, and I was here, floundering around on my own. I didn't even have Demyx anymore.

It was just me. And silence.

For hours, I just laid there, feeling sorry for myself. I had fucked everything up, and I had no one to blame but myself. I had done this. And I was thinking that maybe, if I had just let that failure be just that, I wouldn't be here, all alone, with no one but my own arrogance to comfort me.

Wes wiggled about, and he rolled on his side, so he could clutch my shirt. As soon as it was in his hands, he pulled it, and gnawed on the end of it with his two tiny teeth. And he looked at me with unconditional love. And then…he laughed.

There wasn't a thing that I was doing to evoke that kind of response. I was frowning, and furrowing my brow, but still, Wes found that so funny, I couldn't help but giggle along with him. And, then that giggle turned into genuine laughter, and it lasted for several minutes. It was just me and him. And I think at that moment, I made that connection.

That primal connection that a father should have with his son. The one that could make the whole world brighter. It was just a bud, though. A small leaf of a new beginning, and I cherished that. It was incomplete, but I could at least be there with him without having that hollow feeling in my chest. And I smiled. Smiled, with the realization that I didn't love my son now, but I could eventually learn to.

* * *

My week was up, and I spent those last few days trying to find a job that could put me somewhere warm. Fall was approaching, and the temperature was going to drop soon. I eventually got a job as a medical transcriber. I would type up doctor reports and send them to where they needed to be. I did that for eight hours everyday, and was paid well for it.

Wes would stay at a local daycare center until I would come and pick him up. And every time he saw me, he would erupt into giggles and reach for me. And I could see he was there for me. No matter what. But, still, I could only afford to keep us in a ratty motel room. I was able to pay the rent and buy food for Wes. I found myself going for several days without food, and I lamented inwardly about how this was truly self sacrifice.

I had tried to find the address that Demyx had left for me, but I think that he had taken it before he left because it wasn't there. I checked everywhere I could, even under the fridge, but he was adamant about not wanting to talk to me anymore. I felt so empty, I couldn't even breathe half the time. I only had Wes, and I hated myself more and more everyday because I had fucked up the one good thing in my life.

Wes, however, loved me very much, and when he would start to crawl, I found myself following him, just making sure he wouldn't get hurt. He was adventurous, always getting into trouble, and I smiled inside because I was too proud to allow anyone to see how happy he made me feel. Three months passed, and I was still struggling along, keeping Wes wherever it was safe.

Then, one day, his mother showed up again. At first, I held the same animosity for her, but I quickly let that go because I was wasting too much energy on her. She just wanted to rub my failure in my face, and I let her without doing a thing to stop her. She wanted to take Wes from me.

I said no.

I surprised her by that response. Hell, I surprised myself. I still didn't want him with me, but now it was because I was having a hard time providing for him, not because I just didn't want him. She pestered me about it for a few weeks, and she told me that she was going to Florida. I didn't want to let Wes go. The only thing I asked her was when his birthday was. She had never told me, and I just wanted to know.

"December twentieth," she said.

And she left after that. Never to talk to me again. And, I was struggling on my own. I really wanted Demyx to show up one day and tell me that he still liked me. I couldn't believe that he just disappeared like that. Without a trace. There was no way I could ever get to him. I mean, he told me he was going to New York, but trying to find someone in New York City was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Then, one day in September, I was walking to the grocery store with Wes, and I passed a music store. I was never interested in listening to music after Demyx left, but the person leaning over the counter caught my eye. It was Xion. I backed up, and went into the store, hoping that she would tolerate me for just a few minutes.

"Welcome," Xion said lazily.

"Hi," I muttered.

When she looked up, she turned ugly again. Just like last time. "What do you want?"

"I just want to ask you a question."

"I'm not talking to you."

I folded my hands together. Wes giggled and cried out, making it very awkward to stand there as pathetically as I was. Fate's second slice of humble pie was still working its way through me, and I was bitter about it. But, because of my schedule, I didn't have enough time to mope about it, or continue to fell sorry about it. So, I delved into that arrogance that had left me.

"I want you to tell me where Demyx is," I said. "I know you know."

"You can go fuck yourself, wanker," Xion said.

My ego was getting bruised now. Not only was she denying me my request, but she was using British terminology to do so. And that made me feel lower than I already did. I wasn't about to resort to begging, but then again, I really was an asshole. That hadn't changed. I was just a little less obvious about it.

"Please, Xion."

"Why?" She barked. "So you can hurt him again? I don't think so."

I hung my head. I didn't have enough time to argue with her, but she was a determined little thing, and I was going to accept the unspoken challenge. She wanted to see how sorry I really was. How persistent I would be to see my friend. If she wanted a fight, so be it.

That day, I bought a bag of skittles, Wes's food, and began my plan of action. I was going to be in this for the long run. And I was going to do everything in my power to prove it.

This meant something to me.

* * *

**Hey, great chapter. I liked this one too, but I'll like the next one even better. I've decided how it's going to end, and I think it's going to be tough to pull it off right. Man, being a sociopath is hard! I think I might even be a little too good at it. *shrug***

**If any of you would like to know where some of the inspriation for this story is coming from, check out The American Dollar. Their album Technicolour Sleep, is awesome. The songs I used mostly were Rudiments of a Spiritual Life, and Supernova Landslide. Excellent album, and I think it fit with this Zexion/Demyx relationship.**

**Has a nice day, yo. :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, I just typed this thing in about an hour and a half after I finished the last chapter. I was on a roll today, and had a lot of free time. I'm happy, but I don't have long, so...here you go.**

**Enjoy your second chapter today.  
**

* * *

Everyday for three weeks, I would stop by that music store, and place a pile of Skittles on the counter. Even when Xion wasn't working that day, I would go in, leave a pile of Skittles on the counter and leave without a word. I would always have two of every color, and I ended up buying them a lot, because I had formed an affinity for them.

I liked to eat them. They reminded me of Demyx, but I picked out the yellow ones. Demyx liked the yellow ones, and I was saving them for him, even though he wasn't there, and I would just end up throwing them away. Or giving them to Xion.

But, still, she would not budge. I was beginning to get annoyed with her, and started writing short notes to place under the Skittles. I was never there to see her face. Probably because she had switched her schedule to ignore me. But, I was persistent.

I would never give up. Not for a second. I had to prove myself to her. And I knew she was close to Demyx. I was so sorry for what I had done, and that feeling of immense sorrow never quite went away. I had to change it.

But, that little whore was so much stronger than I was. She wouldn't open her mouth. Not after everything that I did, she would not forgive me. And I couldn't blame her, really. I was mean and inconsiderate, and there was no guarantee that I wouldn't hurt Demyx again. I think she knew that, and she was stopping the pain before it even started.

And September passed, and October. And November. And in the second week of December, I went back to that music store, and waited for her. All day, until she showed up to work. I hadn't eaten, and I had asked the daycare to take Wes, even though I was three weeks passed due on the payments. I promised them that I would pay them back. But, I wasn't so sure about that either.

When Xion finally showed up, I didn't approach her right away. I knew she saw me, and she tried to avoid me at all costs. Until, eventually, she took pity on me. She came up behind me, and I was trying to stay awake. I hadn't been sleeping too well either. Wes was beginning to roll over in his sleep, and I had to be there to catch him before he fell over the edge.

"Why are you here?"

I turned to her. "I've gone the past six months, wishing I could see Demyx again." I said tensely. "The last three of those months were spent trying to convince you that I was an acceptable person. Obviously, you don't think so. I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm hollow. And I'm giving up."

She looked at me like I was crazy. I hadn't decided to give up until that last moment. I was just too drained to continue chasing a pipe dream that just wasn't going to happen for me. I just wanted to move on, as I'm sure Demyx already had. I was just trying to hold on to a memory that was just going to be a pain in my side for the rest of my life.

As I stood to leave, Xion stopped me. She still looked angry, but I could see her sympathy. She felt bad for me, and I guess she was willing to forgive me, because she scribbled something on a paper and handed to me. "I'm sorry I was so…bitchy."

I looked at the paper, and pushed her hand away. It wasn't worth it anymore. If I took the paper, and Demyx rejected me, I was just going to feel the same way I did now. I wanted to spare myself to anguish. I turned away, but she grabbed my arm.

"You're just going to give up?" she asked. "You won. You got what you wanted, right? Why are you just leaving?"

"It's not worth it anymore, Xion." I said. "I have to get to the daycare and pickup Wes before I owe another thousand or so. So, I guess you won."

"You're just going to leave it?" she said. I had surprised her. "Even though it's right here?" She furrowed her brow. "Then what the hell do you do it for? You spent three months trying to convince me of your sincerity, and then you just leave? What was the point?"

"I don't get it," I said a little louder. "I've been trying to understand those feelings he has for me. Every move, every touch. Everything. I just don't get it."

Xion quieted.

"I've been obsessing over my baby for months, and I still don't have more of a connection other than I don't hate him. I just can't…like anything. Not Wes, not Demyx, not myself. I just don't get it."

"Then, go see Demyx, asshole," Xion screamed. "Before I change my mind. Then you'll really be screwed."

She had a point, and even though I didn't reach out for the paper, she stuffed it into my hand and pushed me out of the store. She told me to never come back. And, I silently whooped for joy, but yet another pressing matter came to light. I couldn't afford to get to New York.

So, I had won, but I still lost. I couldn't afford to fly to New York. I had no money to spare. I had already maxed out all my credit cards, and was behind on payments, and my job had called me on my way to pickup Wes and told me that I had been laid off. And, my cell phone died.

It was just shit. All of it. And it kept coming, because when I got to the shitty little motel room we lived in, I was told the place was shutting down, and that I had to move out. Today. And I had nowhere to go.

I convinced the owner to let me stay long enough to charge my cell phone. He allowed that, but I had packed up all my stuff, and called a taxi. I couldn't afford it, and the taxi driver was kind enough to let off this time, but if he ever saw me again, he wouldn't pick me up, even if I were drowning in the rain.

But, I was grateful, and I had been dropped off at my parent's house. I knocked on the door, and Wes wanted to go play, but I didn't let him. I had to beg. I wasn't going to like it either, but I had to get to New York. There was nothing left for me here anyway.

"Oh, Zexion!"

That was my mother. I could already hear that holier-than-thou attitude in her voice, and I could sense a you-should-have-been-a-better-son speech coming. But, I bit my tongue, and went inside without a word. They gave me dinner, and new clothing, and they sat with me in the living room.

I had never been able to work my parents. Ever. I had never had a reason to learn how to ask them for things, since I did what I was told, and listened to what they told me. And believed everything they said, too. But, there was a first time for everything.

I just wish it wasn't for something so important.

"What do you want?" That was my father, of course. Strict and no nonsense. "Did you come for money?"

"No," I said. I was lying of course, but I had to play it like I was everything they wanted me to be. "My job wants to move me out to New York."

"Well, that's good, sweetheart." My mother was a real piece of work sometimes. A spider, just waiting to catch a fly. She was nice one minute, but piss her off even a little, and you would wish she would just suck your guts out. "When do you leave?"

"Well, they just told me today," I said confidently. "They want me there tomorrow, but I wish they would have told me a little sooner, because I had already invested my money into my 401K."

"So, you want money?"

"I would never ask unless it was important, Dad." I muttered. "You should at least know that I'm not squandering my money on luxuries. I told you, they just told me. I have no money to spare. You know how 401Ks are."

My dad mumbled under his breath, but he looked pleased. He knew I would have paid myself if they told me sooner. And he knew that I as good for it. Though, they probably haven't been listening to a word I've said, because if they did, they would know that I was two pennies away from completely broke. But, I didn't complain when they wrote me a check for exactly enough to get a one-way ticket for two to New York. I assumed that they assumed that I was lying, but that didn't matter.

I was going to New York.

My mother cooed at Wes for the rest of the night. They said they would drop me off, and I was fine with that. I insisted on taking a taxi, but they wanted to throw me off into the world themselves. Just to make sure I was gone for good. They wanted me far away, and I didn't mind.

* * *

So, in the morning, I went through my motions. I bundled up Wes, rode to the airport, flew to New York, and found my way to Manhattan. The address that Xion gave me wasn't that far from the subway I had to take. I was intimidated by the sheer size of New York. I had never been to a city as large as this before, and I couldn't afford to travel here, but I was resourceful. I just wasn't going to eat for another week or so.

I made my way up to the top floor of a loft building, and sucked in a heated breath. Demyx looked like he was living it up. The building was beautiful, the lobby, sparkling clean. And the elevator ride was smooth. The people getting in and out looked very rich, and they instantly turned their noses up at me.

Mind you, I didn't look dirty. I was clean. I was just very tired looking, with bags under my eyes, and my hair was a mess even though it was combed. It had grown way out of control, and lingered in front of my one eye. I guess, you could say, I looked…emo? But, they didn't bother me. I was preoccupied.

I walked down the hallway to the only door on that level, and paused before I knocked on it. Wes giggled, and yanked my hair harshly. I don't know what it was he wanted, but to this day, I think he wanted me to knock on that door. I was just about to turn back, but he yanked my hair again.

I stood there for another few minutes, shifted all my weight to my other foot, and knocked on the door. There was music in the background, and it stopped. And I could hear footsteps and grumbles from the other side. And, after an eternity, Demyx cracked the door.

"Hell—" Demyx stopped. "O?"

"Hi, Demyx," I whispered sheepishly.

"Zexion?"

I nodded, ashamed of myself. Even more now, because I was so untidy in a building brimming with splendor. I took a half-step back. I was losing face.

"What are you doing here?" I could tell he was surprised. I think he was angry, and sad. And confused, too. My showing up was not really making his day.

"I…wanted to visit." I said. It was the worst excuse I had ever given in my whole life. It was only partially true, but I had lied. I was there to see him, and maybe be friends with him again.

"I've waited for you," Demyx started, "for six months."

"I know," I sighed. "I was trying to find you, but I lost the address, and I didn't think I would be welcome. And Xion didn't want to give it to me..."

"That's because I told her not to," Demyx said. "I didn't want to see you."

"And you still don't want to?"

"You didn't come," Demyx growled. "I waited for you, and you didn't come."

"I was there," I cried. "You went first. You were going to be the conductor, but you changed your mind."

"I'm not talking about that!" Demyx screamed. "I gave you that address because I thought you would show up when your week was up. I waited for you every day for months, and you never showed."

"I told you that I lost it," I argued. I could feel my old self rising up again. That version of me that would get annoyed very quickly. The one that would say things he didn't really mean.

"You didn't lose it," Demyx said. "You would never do that. You just, forgot it."

"I did not."

"You did," Demyx said finally. "You never forget anything unless you want to. Do you think I could live with you for four years, and not know how you work? You commit everything to memory, and you just decided to not come."

"I…"

"I don't want to see you, Zexion," Demyx whispered. "Just, go back home. Just leave. I don't want to deal with it."

"Could at least come in?" I asked.

He looked at me, and I hated to see that anger in him. I knew I was the one who made him this way. And I knew if he would let me in, we could talk about it. I truly was sorry.

"Give me one good reason why I should let you come in here?" Demyx asked. "How do I know that you won't hurt me again if I open my home to you?"

I tried to come up with an answer, but nothing came to me. "Why you should let me in?" I paused. "It's Wes's first birthday tomorrow. And I thought you would like to be there."

Demyx looked down, that anger disappearing almost instantly. Wes was quiet the whole time, and I saw that little grin Demyx would get whenever he saw him. But, I needed to make things right. I couldn't be half-assed about this.

"As for hurting you. How do you know I won't?" I paused again, trying to gauge his emotions. "You don't. I can't promise that I would be that…"

"Pompous asshole?"

"Yeah." I wished he hadn't put it so bluntly.

But, I looked at him. And I he looked at me. And he was seriously debating as to whether or not he was going to let me in. I was scared that he would shake his head, and I wouldn't be allowed to fix my mistake. But after a while, he sighed, exasperated, and he opened the door.

"Come in."

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**Has a nice day. Don't know when I'll be able to update. But, i'll try. :)  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so this was kind of...weird for me to write. I had to completely go out of my comfort zone since I'm not used to writing...fluffy stuff. I'm not sure if this counts as a lemon. I don't think it is, but it does have a lemony flavor. As for the writing of the chapter. Besides that it made me feel weird. I figured, why the hell not? You need to broaden your horizons if you're going to be write screenplays and blah blah blah.**

**So, I think that's it. Hope you like it. I think I might have an idea for another story when this one is done. *iz thinking* Never thought I'd write Yaoi one day. *shrug* First time for everything.**

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"You can stay the night," Demyx said as he moved around his luxurious house. "But, as soon as tomorrow night comes, I want you out."

"Okay."

I agreed with him. I wasn't really welcome here. And I wondered if I would ever be able to fix the mistake I made. Demyx whisked Wes around his house, pointing at things, and laughing. I decided to hang back. In actuality, Wes was Demyx's baby, not mine. And I thought I was doing the right thing by letting Demyx see Wes.

I looked around his living room. It was covered in sheets of music, and half scribbled lyrics. He was composing, and it seemed to be stressing him out. That could have been the reason for his anger, but I didn't make it any easier for him. I wanted to apologize to him, but the words kept getting stuck in my throat.

After a while, Wes had fallen asleep, and Demyx put him in a separate room. I was still sitting in the living room, my bag by my side, and I was looking at some of the pictures hanging on the wall. Demyx noticed me and pointed at some of the pictures.

"That's Wes," he said softly. "It was on the day you spent all day practice testing. I think he was four months. Maybe five."

The picture didn't look familiar to me. I mean, I could recognize Demyx, but I never remembered Wes being that small. He looked down right puny. So fragile, and grumpy looking.

"And this one," Demyx explained, pointing to a picture of his parents. "This is when I crashed my parents' second honeymoon. This was long before I met you, but their faces were so funny, I had to frame it. And this one is Xigbar and me."

"Xigbar?" I asked.

"My manager," Demyx said, waving his hand. "He's the one who says I'm going places. He put me here."

He waved to his apartment, and looked back at me. There was something on his mind, I could see it. I avoided his gaze, thinking that somehow, that would be me apologizing, but I don't think anything was going to be right until I actually said it.

"Demyx…"

It was so hard for me, looking at this man and thinking about how much I had hurt him. And I could already feel those feelings of apathy rise again. It wasn't fair how I was thinking. It was as if I hadn't gotten enough punishment already, and I just wanted to shoot myself in the foot again. But, I had to say something.

"Demyx," I paused, but continued before I lost that confidence. "Would you like some Skittles?"

He stared at me, and I stabbed myself. That was the stupidest, most idiotic thing I could have asked. He was pissed at me. And all I could offer were some half stale yellow Skittles from days ago. I don't think there was a single thing I could have said that would have made me sound more pathetic than that.

But, I don't think my attempt at fixing my friendship worked that well. Demyx arched an eyebrow, and took a couple of steps closer to me. I couldn't prepare myself for what happened next, because I honestly wasn't expecting that to happen. But, Demyx stopped right in front of me. Mind you, I was considerably shorter than he was, and I thought he was going to yell in my face, but, instead, he punched me. Square in the nose.

I fell. I can't say that I didn't deserve it, but it hurt like a motherfucker. And my first reaction was to hit him back, so I kicked his feet from underneath of him. He landed right on top of me, and we hit each other for several minutes before we were tangle up in the various cords running along the floor, and paper shreds were flying everywhere. I believe the words 'motherfucker' and 'jackass' were thrown around a lot. I was defending myself, and Demyx was blowing off steam. I never pegged him for the violent type, but I had been such a damn fool, that I couldn't believe _I_ hadn't kicked my own ass yet.

"You left me!" Demyx cried. "I waited for you, and you left!"

"I…"

I was stuttering. I just couldn't bring myself to say those words. If I did, I would be sacrificing my dignity, and I would never be able to be my old self again. But, then something occurred to me. Did I really want to be like that again? Did I really want to have everything the way it was? Did I_ really_ want that?

"I…" I stuttered again, cursing myself for my insecurity. My nose was bleeding, and I could feel a black eye coming. So, I was just going to wing it. "I'm sorry."

Demyx frowned. I didn't think he thought I would do something like that. He still looked angry, but that true animosity vanished. "What did you say?"

"I'm sorry, Demyx," I muttered again. "I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

There was silence between us. For a long time, too. We didn't move, save for me trying to stem my bleeding nose. Demyx frowned, but after a while, that frown turned into a half smile.

"I knew you'd come around," He stood up and extended a hand to me. "Sorry, buddy."

I paused, not wanting to take his hand, because I had lost the fight, and felt ashamed about it. But, I had already lost my dignity, so help wasn't such a bad thing. I took his hand, and he pulled me to my feet. He pushed my hair out of my face and wiped the blood away with a shirt.

"You can take a shower if you like," he said. "I'll find some clothes that'll fit you. I'm not sure if I own anything that small, though." He laughed at me as he left.

I watched him, but I didn't make a move immediately. I actually wanted him to stay close to me, but I think it was because I had patched up that mistake. Even if it wasn't entirely, it was definitely on its way. I beamed inside, but I couldn't show it. I made my way to his bathroom, which was far more luxurious than any bathroom I'd ever seen. I turned the water on, stripped down, and stepped into the shower.

I was instantly cocooned in warmth, and I think I might have fallen asleep standing up, but as soon as I realized this, I washed up quickly, and turned the water off. I grabbed a towel, and nestled my face in it. It was the softest thing I've ever felt. There was a pair of pants hanging on a rack for me. I recognized them as Demyx's favorite brand of pajama bottoms. Joe Boxer blue plaid. I could tell they were already too big for me, but Demyx was way taller than me anyway. I pulled on the white tee shirt that was left for me, and wrapped the towel around my shoulders. My hair dripped slightly, and when I sat on the couch in the living room, I heard another shower head turn off.

Demyx sat down next to me only minutes later. "Sorry, buddy, that's the smallest thing I own."

"That's okay," I muttered.

Demyx smiled at me. He was back to his normal self again, though I thought I could sense a bit of apprehension in the way he stared at me and the way he spoke. I think he was hiding something from me, or wanted to tell me something and was just afraid to.

We sat in conversation for a long time, and I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, though our subject matter was strained. I never remembered it being so easy before. In fact, it had been extremely hard for me to converse with him because I detested his happiness. But, now it wasn't so bad. I felt comfortable. At ease.

But, as the night dragged into the early morning hours, I found it harder to stay awake, and I drifted off. I wasn't even aware of it, because when I jolted awake not even five minutes later, I was laying in a bed with covers pulled over my chest. Demyx must have carried me. And I heard singing in the other room. Wes must have woken up, and Demyx was singing to him. I loved his voice, but I didn't want to get up and investigate. I just wanted to go to sleep, however, that empty feeling was consuming me again.

I tried to beat it away. I was folding up into my cocoon of safety, trying not to worry about the responsibilities that were undoubtedly building up back home. Though, that wasn't my home anymore. I had no home. I sighed and stared at the ceiling, wishing my problems would go away. I was beginning to get depressed. I didn't even hear the door open, and I wasn't aware anyone had come in until Demyx was at the edge of the bed. He was kneeling, but I could see he was staring at me.

"Hi, Demyx," I whispered.

"Wes is back asleep," he whispered back. "I had to use the last of his food, so he needs more."

I didn't say anything. I wondered why he was here. I knew it was his house, but he was so angry at me, even though he appeared to have forgiven me. I didn't want to ignore him, but I didn't want to talk to him much either. It was just so hard. I had nowhere to go after he kicked me out. And a lot of strange subjects had come up while we talked. I didn't understand what he was doing.

"I can't stay away from you," Demyx said quickly. "Every time I do, I keep thinking about you. I think I might be addicted."

He was reading my mind again, and I couldn't help but revert to that bitchy part of me. "Would you stop doing that?"

"Doing what?"

He looked at me with this sad look on his face. I motioned to him. "That. You know, when you pout like a child."

"Does my pouting bother you?" Demyx asked. He grinned.

"No…I…"

He came closer to me, but his actions didn't raise any suspicion like it should have. I guess I was just so burdened with my life, I kind of forgot that he liked me. I didn't really mind him being so close. I actually felt more comfortable. And he was probably reading my mind again, because he leaned over the edge of the bed and kissed my cheek.

I instantly turned away from him. He couldn't do that to me. He couldn't display affection like that. Not while my life was in turmoil, and the thoughts of self mutilation were ever present. And that self mutilation was presenting itself yet again, as I tore my mind to shreds, trying to ignore that tiny little burn that erupted in my heart. That burning feeling that I had only ever experienced once before.

I ignored him. We weren't drunk, so my returning his awkward affections would only add fuel to a fire that I wasn't ready for. I think he knew that, but he still hovered over my ear and whispered in his softest voice.

"I love you."

No, he didn't. I told myself that a thousand times before I turned back to look at him. And he kissed me again. He was sincere, and I couldn't let him hurt himself because I was resistant to letting myself go. But, I surprised myself again when I didn't stop him. He crawled into the bed and held himself over me, never letting our lips part for more than a few seconds, other than for taking quick heated breaths. Not once did he do anything else. For several minutes, he just focused on me. Looking into my eyes, conveying his sincerest loves and deepest lusts. He had wanted to do this for a long time.

But, the toll on me was heavier. I wasn't gay, but here I was, letting my best friend have me. He was getting rougher, more passionate, and he was beginning to pull at my clothing. I didn't stop him. That fire that had formed in my heart was growing, and I flushed. I was embarrassed. Nervous. Apprehensive. Not really sure if I wanted to take a step like this. But, I flushed a deeper shade of red when I realized that I liked it.

Again, my mind was screaming at me. Trying to rationalize this situation, though it was indefinable. It kept screaming at me to stop. Stop, stop, stop! But, other forces beyond my control were batting those warnings away. Keeping them out of the picture so I could, for once in my life, enjoy myself.

Demyx wasn't wasting time. He stripped me down, staying soft and gentle though he wanted so badly to rip me apart. He could sense my nerves getting the better of me. I could sense him reading my thoughts again, and I grew slightly agitated. But, his kisses left my neck and trailed down my chest, leaving tiny spots of goosebumps everywhere. That fire traveled with him, growing with every connection, until it began to hurt.

"You're so cute, Zexion," Demyx hummed. Obviously he had seen my body's reaction to his teasing.

He lingered on my navel, and I relaxed as time passed. I was getting more comfortable with myself. And I smiled. But, when Demyx paused, I felt that apprehension rise again. I propped myself on my elbows and looked at Demyx. He looked back, face red.

"Demyx…"

Demyx smiled at me. I think he was waiting for me to give him so kind of sign. Or maybe he wanted to see my reaction to him just making such a bold move. I didn't hint at anything, so he kissed my stomach again. And then he moved up. When our eyes locked, I could tell he was asking my permission. But, he should have known better than to do something like that. My eyes were empty, and I saw a silent sadness creep over him. It was instantly replaced with lust when I moved closer to him. I had granted him that permission, but I wasn't expecting him to be so quick about it.

He pressed himself to me, and I felt his skin against mine. It was unusual. Not like any girl I'd ever been with. It was kinder, and more focused about pleasing me that the other way around. He was catering to my desires, not his. And my mind was pleading with me again. Make him stop! But, I didn't listen.

My brain was churning about, but not because I was trying to rationalize anything. Demyx had lingered on my navel long enough and had decided that teasing me wasn't working for him anymore. He was whispering things to me, and felt awkward that way he would talk. The way he moved. He grabbed me, and he squeezed every part of me like if he didn't squeeze hard enough, I would fade out of his arms. And that fire in the pit of my stomach shot in between my legs.

My mind was listing the chemicals that were being released in my brain. Norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide and God knows what else. It didn't even matter at that point. There was a period of silence before my body betrayed my beliefs. I came. And, in that moment, I seized up, laced my fingers in Demyx's hair, and cried his name. I unwound and huffed forcefully. I had been satisfied completely. I was content.

But, he wasn't done. He needed his satisfaction, too, and I wasn't about to stop him. Just as I had suspected, when he was finished, he curled up next to me, wrapped his arms around my body, and whispered that last three words I wanted to hear at that moment.

"I love you."

He was waiting for an answer. I didn't want to return those words. He had just fucked me. We were in the moment, not thinking clearly. We couldn't possibly seal our fates like that. We needed more time before we could just jump to that kind of conclusion. I paused for just a second before I opened my mouth, intending to explain exactly how I felt. But, that's not what came out.

"I love you too, Dem."

Big mistake.

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**Too bad I didn't kill anyone. I'm really good at writing torture scenes and psychotic killers. Well, give me your input. Probably not a lemon. But I did mention yellow skittles. That has to coount fir something. They look like tiny lemons.**

**Whatever, has a nice day. :)**

**Probably never going to write a true lemon. *shrugs again* I'm trolling.**

**BONUS! I think I might have enough time to write a Christmas chapter. Yay!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it and whatnot. Have to be politically correct nowadays. :P Anyway, I had wanted to publish this chapter for Christmas, but I didn't have as much time as i thought I was going to. But, I have it now, so rejoice! Right now, I'm not sure where I want to go with this. I'm sure something will come to me, but I didn't want everything to be cut and dry. There has to be depth and sorrow, and then a minute long montage of events with redemption music playing in the background.**

**I supossed this would be that second before that montage. I don't know. I've found myself making a lot of movie references lately. I need to get that under control. Speaking of movies, if you ever want to see a crazy-shit movie, check out Ichi the Killer starring Takeshi "Beat" Katano. It's a damn good movie. But, don't watch it if you get sick easily, or don't like to watch uncensored torture scenes. But, I liked it, and I'm a fan of Takeshi "Beat" Katano. ****I know it's completely unrelated to this story in every single way possible, but you all have Netflix. I know you do...so go see it.**

**Enjoy. :)**

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When I woke up the next morning, I felt like shit. Demyx wasn't there, and I could feel that regret weighing me down again. I couldn't believe the selfish, irreversible thing I had done. And, to top it all off, I told him I loved him. And I didn't. I couldn't. And, he had never told me that he had forgiven me, because when I cleaned myself up and found Demyx in the kitchen, he didn't return any of my glances. He was ignoring me.

"Are you still mad?" I asked.

He didn't say anything. I was beginning to think that he had sex with me just to get me back for hurting him. It was starting to look that way to me. But, I didn't for one minute believe that he could be so conniving and manipulative. He was struggling with his action just as much as I was. And, I didn't really want to open a wound that was barely stitched together.

"Demyx…"

"Yes," he said harshly.

He was being a little hypocritical. He was still angry, but he was willing to fuck me? It didn't add up. But, then it occurred to me that maybe he was trying to forget about it. He didn't want to open his own wounds either, or estrange himself from me. It couldn't have been any different than any other normal couple. Though I really couldn't identify who was who in comparison.

In short, Demyx wanted me, but he didn't want me. I was too much of an emotional toll on him. He was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. But, I think he wanted to do it gently.

A stern knock on the front door drew Demyx away from his inner contemplations. He opened the door, and he was greeted with an angry sounding man. I hid myself because I wasn't sure if I would have been a welcome sight.

"Demyx, I've been calling you all night!"

Demyx sighed. "I told you I was going to be writing. I turned my phone off and was trying to find my muse."

"That's bullshit," I heard distinct sniffing. "Have you been fucking?"

Demyx was silent.

"What did I tell you about having sex?"

I heard shuffling and the front door closed.

"Look," Demyx said. "I wrote you a song."

I peered around the corner at the stranger. It was Xigbar. I remembered him from the photos, though he looked much more worse for wear. He must have been exhausted. I could see it in his eye. He really did strike me as a pirate, and the California accent wasn't helping him too much. He looked angry though, probably because a lot of the wires on the floor were tangled, and Demyx hadn't cleaned up the shredded paper. Our fight was obvious.

"What the hell is this?"

Demyx kicked some of the papers aside. "I had a little bit of a disagreement last night."

"Is this before or after the sex?"

Demyx sat at his keyboard and flicked it on. He gathered a few loose sheets of paper and placed them neatly on the stand. "My sex life really isn't that important, Xigbar. What's important is the music, right?"

Xigbar paused. "Err, yes. So, let's hear it."

"I don't have any words for it. But, the music is done. All I would have to do is mix it together and do minor adjustments to the bridge. Then, I think it would be perfect."

Xigbar sat on the couch and folded his arms. As Demyx played, he relaxed more, and bobbed his head to the sound. He was grinning, so I guess he liked it, but the music to me wasn't having nearly the same calming effect. It actually made me feel very insecure about myself. Like his music was telling Xigbar all the bad things I did to him. All the hurtful things I said.

I couldn't help myself but cry. And when I sobbed out loud, Xigbar snapped out of his peaceful trance and turned towards the kitchen. "Who's in there?"

Demyx stopped playing, and that anguishing feeling disappeared. "Xigbar, do you want the music or not?"

"Now wait just a minute, Demyx," Xigbar said. I heard him stand. "You haven't written a thing for me in six months. I want to know where the sudden burst in creativity came from."

Xigbar stepped into the kitchen and stared right at me. His one eye went wide and he looked from Demyx to me and back again. I could see his disbelief, but I think he was surprised that I was crying as well. And that made me look very bad, because I hadn't had a chance to comb my hair yet, and I was still wearing Demyx's pajamas.

"Is this your friend?"

Demyx pushed Xigbar aside. "Yeah, I told you it wasn't important. I wrote that song for him."

Xigbar stared openly at me for another minute. He seemed to be trying to form a sentence, but it wasn't working out for him. Demyx smiled and passed me without a second glance. I couldn't stand him ignoring me, but I had hurt him, and I don't think he had fully forgiven me. He rooted around in his fridge and pulled out a pitcher of water.

"I'll go to the studio tomorrow and put it on a track for you, Xig."

Xigbar looked from Demyx to me again. I think he was going to say something, but he decided against it. He waved Demyx away and turned around. "Whatever, just don't get distracted. I'll see you at the studio."

Demyx nodded and passed me again. He still didn't look at me and I frowned. He was sending me mixed signals, and I didn't appreciate it. I wanted to confront him about it, but Wes started crying in the other room, and I had to tend to him. Xigbar followed me with his eye.

"He has a kid, too?" Xigbar said disapprovingly. "Demyx, I'm warning you. Don't fuck up."

"Got it, Xigbar," Demyx groaned.

Xigbar didn't say anything as he gathered his coat and briefcase and departed. I could feel his disappointment, but I frankly didn't give a shit. Wes was demanding my attention, and when I picked him up, he stopped crying almost instantly. He giggled and pulled at my hair again.

"So, where do you want to go?"

Demyx stood in the doorway to the room with his arms folded. He seemed angry, but not at me. I think he was mad at Xigbar for judging him. I couldn't blame him. Xigbar did seem like a douche bag. I avoided looking at him, his eyes weren't the same. I could see his lust.

"I don't know," I said softly. Wes reached for Demyx, but Demyx didn't take him immediately. "Maybe we could go to…a park?"

"A park?" Demyx paused for a moment. "Okay. I know this really great ice cream place around the corner. We could stop there, then go for a walk. I still have to get Wes a present."

Demyx left. I looked at Wes. "Happy birthday, Wes."

Wes laughed and squirmed in my arms. I brought him into the kitchen and found a couple of jars of baby food on the counter. I wondered when Demyx had had the time to go to the store and pick up food. Between the writing of his song, and his meetings with Xigbar, I was beginning to think that someone was helping him, just like he was helping me.

But, I got Wes ready, talking to him the whole time. He seemed to understand me. He blinked intelligently, smiled when I said something he liked, and copied my movements. I wasn't aware that Demyx was watching me. He had some clothes in his hands.

"Here."

I took the clothes from him and changed. I didn't like it when he would sneak up on me like that. It made me feel vulnerable. And his stare was starting to unnerve me. I was going to have to talk to him about our little escapade, but it never seemed to be a good time. I had to do something.

Demyx led me down the stairs and out of the building. New York was filthy. Dirt and trash piled everywhere, and everyone was mean spirited. Horns honking, people shouting. It was just like all the clichés in the movies were like; though I'm sure New York wasn't like that _all_ the time. But, I couldn't help but be amazed by how alive this place was.

Demyx was holding Wes, though Wes kept reaching for me. I didn't want to get in the way of Demyx's bonding time. I frowned a lot while we were out, though. I was unhappy with the way he would look at me, like he was admonishing me for being myself. I didn't blame him. I couldn't. I was heartless and apathetic in the worst way. And I couldn't even apologize to him, because I knew that I would do it again without hesitation.

When we were sitting in the park, eating that ice cream from that place Demyx had been talking about, we just sat and looked at each other. Wes made noise, and crawled around in the grass around us, but we just stared at each other. Like zombies, or mimes. I bit into my ice cream, avoiding Demyx's eyes again. They were so green and loving…and sad. I just couldn't look at him knowing that I was the reason for that sadness, and he just couldn't seem to let me go.

There was silence between us for a while.

Demyx's face kept changing though. At first he was glaring at me. Trying to figure out what I was thinking. Then, he lightened up. I debated whether I should have said anything to him at that point, but it wasn't long after that he burst out laughing. I could see he was trying to hold it in, and I smiled because that was the same way he would laugh when he caught me doing something embarrassing.

"What?" I said, keeping my voice level. I didn't want him to think I had softened.

He pointed at my face. "You have ice cream on your nose. You look like a life guard."

"A life guard?" I said, wiping my nose. Sure enough, there was a smear of vanilla ice cream, and I blush furiously. "Stop it."

Demyx choked up. "But you looked so serious! I was trying to not laugh, but when you did that thing with your eyes. I couldn't help it."

"What thing?" I was growling at him. But how could I not? He was mocking me openly.

Demyx flicked his eyes from left to right and huffed in the same way I did. "That thing. You do it when you're trying to figure something out. I'm sorry."

"I…"

"What's on your mind?" Demyx asked.

I looked away. I was battling that blush that just wouldn't leave. He was so endearing, the way he would be honest and innocent. But, I found out recently that he wasn't as innocent as people believed. And, he had asked a question that was forcing me to take a look at my rapidly deteriorating life.

Wes looked back, and I looked at him, making sure he wasn't going too far away. He smiled, and drooled, but he continued on his own care-free adventures of discovery and self awareness. I smiled briefly and looked back at Demyx.

"Are you still mad?"

"Yes," Demyx said. "You hurt me real bad. But, I figure that's water under the bridge. And I kind of was a little stressed out. I love you. Really. But, you just hurt me so badly sometimes."

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk about."

Demyx folded his hands under his chin and smiled. That was his listening face. He would have that same look when we had important finals to study for, and he was listening to me talk to myself to get mentally prepared. It was a look of understanding. Sympathy.

"About last night…" I paused. I had no idea how to handle the situation. I had so many things pilling on one another, I was beginning to feel over burdened again. Alone, even though I wasn't. "I…We…shouldn't have done it."

Demyx frowned. "But…"

I held up a finger to stop the argument before it even started. I needed to get everything off my chest, or Wes wasn't going to have a place to live in a few hours. I was quiet for a moment before the explanation that I had planned on giving yesterday spilled from my mouth.

"It was a stupid, irresponsible thing for me to let you do what you did. I'm not gay. I just…wanted to give you something. I thought it would make you happy. I wanted to pay you back for everything you had ever done for me. I was…being selfish again."

"If you didn't want it…" Demyx started. "Why didn't you stop me?" He trembled. I heard the sadness in his voice.

"I wanted to…"

Demyx stood up, and shook harder. Oh, fuck. I had just opened another can of worms. I stood up with him, thinking that I could stop the landslide after the rain had fallen.

"You…lied to me."

"No, Demyx," I said hurriedly. "I…well…"

"You told me you loved me." Demyx frowned. "You lied to me."

I folded my arms. "Well, you should have known better than to tell me something like that and expect a response. I would never love you like that…"

There I was, breaking everything I had worked for in an instant, all because my pride was getting in the way. I didn't even care at that point whether I made Demyx cry. I could see him fighting those tears away, but I just did not want to give in to him. He would not have control over me. Ever. I would never let that happen.

"I told you everything," Demyx said, getting more wound up. "I exposed my whole being to you! I told you I loved you! Does that mean anything to you? Anything at all?"

I kept my arms crossed. If I let them fall, I would have exposed my insecurities to him. But, I had to salvage this relationship. I shook my head, and dropped my arms to my sides. I hung my head, hoping that Demyx would let his guard down a little.

"Demyx…"

"No!" Demyx shouted. "No! Just stop. Stop."

"Demyx…"

I reached for him, but he pulled away from me like I was a diseased animal. That look of pure disgust on his face made me die inside. I had been selfish again. Thinking only about my own satisfaction, and not for one minute thinking about his feelings. I didn't even care that he had opened his home to me, that he had shared his bed with me, and was willing to do so much more for me than I was willing to do for him. I felt dirty. Horrible and worthy of a slow death.

"I think it's just better if you leave, Zexion." Demyx whispered to me. "Just go. I don't even care about this anymore."

I faded.

"I just…can't let you continue to do this to me." He looked so miserable. "I should have never told Xion where I was."

He turned away from me, but not before whispering a quick 'Happy Birthday' to Wes. He smiled briefly, but when he straightened himself up, he glared at me ad walked away.

"Wait!"

Demyx didn't stop, he merely looked at me and huffed sadly. "I can't do that anymore."

I stared after him. I didn't even move until Wes started crying. I picked him up and hugged him. I had no idea what the fuck had possessed me to do something so stupid. They always said to never bite the hand that feeds it. And not only did I bite that metaphorical hand, but I broke the arm and cracked the skull too. I completely destroyed my own life again. And I did it without thinking. Not only did I not have anywhere to go, but, now, neither did Wes. And it was all my fault.

Shit.

* * *

**So, yeah. Zexion fucked up big time. So, how will he redeem himself? You'll have to wait until I think of an idea, because I'm drawing up a blank. I havn't been watching romance movies. Right now, I'm stuck on The Mentalist, and terrorist, blow-up-the-world-but-the-hero-saves-everyone-just-in-time movies. Sorry.**

**Obligatory movie reference. Insert it...right...here. :) -Right there...umm. I got nothing.**

**I'm being silly today. Has a nice day everyone. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Happy New Year everyone! I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I wanted to bridge the concept for what I have planned for the next chapter, but I couldn't bridge the gap smoothly. I just wasn't able to find the words to transition better than just making a new chapter, though I promise the next chapter will be longer. This was a big chapter for Zexion in concept more than events happening.**

**Hope you enjoy it anyway.**

* * *

For a while, I stayed in the park. I had nowhere to go, and I had so selfishly ruined my chances with Demyx because I had too much pride to admit my desires. I didn't want to wander around New York by myself. It was a dangerous city, full of mistrustful people and mistrustful things. I was trying to throw together a plan before it got dark, but so far I was coming up blank. I really only had two options.

Option one. I could go find Demyx and beg him to let me stay with him, or at least let Wes stay with him. Option two. I could try to stay alive in New York City with a baby all night. Neither one sounded too appealing. And I already knew I wouldn't be able to fend for myself if I was confronted by anybody. I had to resort to begging, but not to Demyx. I had to go behind his back. To someone he would listen to. I had to find Xigbar.

But, Xigbar already didn't like me too much. And he obviously didn't approve of the relationship Demyx and I had. If anything, he would reject me in a far more embarrassing fashion. But, I had to give it a chance. Maybe he would hear me out.

When I found him, he was standing on a corner, buying a hot dog. It was by pure chance that I even stumbled upon him. I figured that he would at least be hanging around Demyx's place. I was right, but as soon as I approached him, he ignored me and walked the other way. I followed him, but was slowed considerably by Wes's unwillingness to hold still while I moved.

I caught up to him a block later, and I pulled his arm. I'm sure that if I had done that when he had a gun—as I was sure he owned one—I would have promptly been shot. But, he looked pissed and wrenched his arm away.

"Would you get out of here?"

"Please, you have to talk to Demyx," I begged. I was sure I looked like the most pathetic being on the planet, next to the guy across the street who was dancing horribly for a dollar.

"I'll do no such thing, little man," Xigbar said. "Demyx has written a whole album for me because of you. Do you really think I would let him get the one thing he desires? He writes way too well for that."

"You're using him?"

"Hey," Xigbar snapped. "He writes his anguish. You provided enough emotional distress for at least one more album. Maybe in a year, kid."

I grabbed Xigbar again. "Please, let me just talk to him."

"Can't do that."

"Xigbar!"

Xigbar glanced at me again. "You are certainly a persistent urchin. Like an itch that won't go away. I'm not going to let you heal his poor little broken heart until I get the producers to buy his tracks. Until then, you're on your own."

"Does that mean I can talk to him?" That's what it sounded like to me. But, I wanted to be sure.

"Eh…yeah, in like a week or so," Xigbar said, shrugging. "I'll arrange it. So, like, go somewhere."

"But, I have no where to go," I whispered sheepishly.

"Well, that's not my problem, tiny person."

Xigbar left me. He walked away without another word. He only told me to meet him back here in a week. I couldn't believe that he was willing to help me meet with Demyx again, but then another obstacle rose before me. I had to survive for a week. I couldn't do that. I wasn't street smart enough. And I had no money to feed Wes. I was going to have to call home and ask for help.

Public phones in New York smelled like piss, and I could see infection oozing off of them, but I had to make this call. Wes clung to me, crying when people would look at him, but he would calm almost instantly. I rocked him in place, trying to keep him quiet while I negotiated for his survival.

The phone rang a couple of times before it was picked up. The voice on the other end was distinctly female, and it sounded a little cheery. Alcohol induced cheery. It was a tone I learned well over the years. My mother was tipsy. Which meant my father was being a dickhole again. After a couple of minutes of strange sobs and hiccups, my mother spoke.

"Hello?" she sang.

"Mom?"

"Zexion? Oh. Hello, sweetie." She hiccupped. "What are you calling for? Is New York treating you nicely, hon?"

"Yeah," I said. "Listen, do you think you could watch Wes for, like, a week or so?"

"Oh, I would love to," she said. "But, your father is being a little bit mean to me, so I don't know if he'll let me. Maybe you should ask him."

"Wait, no!"

"Honey! You'll never guess who's on the phone! He wants to talk to you."

"Wait, Mom, no…I…"

"Hello?"

"Dad," I tried to sound as happy to hear his voice as I could, but I think I wasn't doing too well, because his voice grew dark.

"What do you want?"

"I was just wondering if you could watch Wes while I figured out my housing situation."

"That's out of the question."

"But, Dad, I just need to get him off my hands for a week. Landlords don't like to see babies. It makes it difficult to get into a place. You know that."

"You're an adult, Zexion. You can take care of yourself." He paused for a second. "And I don't have the time to take care of your mistakes."

"Dad…"

"I only gave you the money for the tickets to New York because I thought you were out of my hair."

"Please…"

"You fucked up, son." He said tensely. "If you would have just focused on your studies, you would not have been having sex like a little whore. You should have kept your dick in your hand, and not waving it around like some magic wand. You have a child because you fucked up, just like I did. And now you have to deal with it."

"Dad," I sobbed. "Please."

"No." There was silence. "Goodbye, son."

And he hung up on me. I stood like an idiot with the phone to my ear, wishing for something to happen. It was like I was climbing up a latter, and my father just pulled the next six rungs. I was stuck. Lost. And it was going to be a week before I would have a chance to move on.

So, I went back to the park and sat on a bench. People moved around me, and Wes was occupied with the other children. I knew I was going to have to feed him soon enough, and I had no money. I was going to have to steal it from somewhere. Going to a grocery store was out of the question. I couldn't go somewhere big, or I would certainly be caught. There was a small convenient store on the nearest corner, and I scooped up Wes and brought him inside.

It was a hot little place, and I perused the shelves, looking for baby food, or at least a good alternative. I found some unsweetened applesauce and some ripened bananas. I looked around, hoping that I could get some kind of distraction so I could get out. To my surprise the owner of the store came up to me a minute later.

"Planning to steal that?"

Shit. I had been caught before I even took a step. "Uhh…no?"

The store owner looked at me with that half lidded expression that caught my bullshit lie. "You're not from New York. And I can spot desperation from a mile away. So...what do you need it for?"

I swallowed slowly. "Uhh…I…"

The store owner folded his arms and frowned. I couldn't lie to save face or he would catch it for sure.

"I fucked up a relationship with my best friend. I tried to find a place for my baby to sleep for a week, and I have no money. My parents want nothing to do with me, and I have nowhere to go. I'm alone, I'm tired, and I'm out of options. And all I want is some food for my son!"

"Then take it."

I paused. "What?"

The store owner nodded. "Take it. You obviously need it more. I don't mind."

I smiled. "Thank you."

The store owner shrugged. "No problem. I've been where you've been before."

I doubted that. But I didn't say anything about it. This man had offered me food, and after he bagged it for me, he wrote down an address on a napkin and handed it to me.

"This is a place that offers temporary housing. I know a guy who knows a guy. I could get you and your son in for a week."

"Why are you doing this for me?" I asked this simple question because I really couldn't believe that someone could be so kind without an ulterior motive. I was sure that he wanted something in return.

"It's called sympathy." The store owner smiled and handed me my bags. "You return the favor to somebody else sometime. You know, pay it forward."

I didn't say anything, merely nodded. One day I would return this favor to some other poor soul, and I knew exactly who I was going to give it to. I only needed a week. Just one week to make sure that I would not mess this up. I had to prepare myself.

I was going to have to eat another slice of humble pie. But, this time, I would eat it willingly and without complaint. And besides, it was only a week. I could handle that.

* * *

**So, I hope you liked it. The next chapter will be better and maybe a little lemony. (But only if it's requested.)**

**And sadly, the end is almost here, though the ending is absolutely fantastic. You'll all love it. I can't wait to tell you. *sqee***

**Has a nice day. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Good early morning to you. I took the requests seriously and wrote you guys a beautiful LEMON. Juicy, yellow, lemony goodness for all to enjoy. I've never written one, and in the first person, as a guy, in a relationship with another guy. It was creepy for me, as you know I am agirl. I have no idea how it actually works, and have no desire for anyone to tell me. I used my imagination and read lots of lemons to kind of get a feel for it. I think I did okey, but you will decide that.**

**I hope I did a good job with it. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

The week in the shelter was kind to me, though I had a difficult time adjusting to having absolutely no privacy at all. I mean, even though there were doors and they would be closed, they would not lock. A locked door was not permitted because a lot of the residents were recovering crack addicts, and they were not allowed to have privacy for fear that they would start using again. I was okay with that, because I had nothing for anybody to take or sell. I had no material possessions, and I was grateful for Wes to have a roof over his head at least. I was beginning to think that my life was going to be lived out in this hellhole.

But, sure enough, a week later, Xigbar had called me and set up a time to meet with Demyx. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I busied myself with making my appearance presentable. I still looked like an emo punk rocker from the nineties, but I think Demyx liked it that way, so I didn't bother with trying to figure out how to cut my own hair. Not to mention I would have been bad at it and would have been mocked more than I already was because I was a scrawny little asshole.

So, I brought Wes with me to that meeting, fully expecting both Demyx and Wes to enjoy each other's company, though I was going to have to get on my hands and knees and beg for forgiveness.

I found the studio easily enough. I took all the money I had earned for doing menial tasks around the shelter. I took maybe four trains, and three buses, just so I could get four city blocks away. Wes was struggling against me, crying constantly, and drawing attention to himself. I think that he sensed my anxiety, and didn't want me to continue forward if it was going to cause me so much anguish. But, as always, I ignored his cries and soothed him to the best of my ability. I thought that maybe it would all be better if I could just get over this little rut that I had in my life.

Things could get better.

Xigbar greeted me at the door. He had this pissed look on his face, like I was disturbing him. I smiled when I saw him, but frowned soon afterwards. Pissed looks usually meant that something bad was about to happen to me. I shifted Wes defensively, building myself up for what I was sure to be a humiliating kick in my ego.

"What did you bring him for?" Xigbar asked.

"What was I supposed to do with him?" I retorted. "Leave him by himself?"

"You can't bring a baby into a studio," Xigbar said. "That's ridiculous. He'll break something."

"I'll be careful, then." I huffed. I pushed past him, but he stopped me.

"Here," he said. "I'll watch him while you go and ruin my chances at a new album."

I ignored him and gave him Wes. I didn't like him, but I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt him. He was just a baby, and he knew Demyx loved him more than I did. I thanked him hurriedly and head to the elevator. Xigbar told me it was on the top floor, so I pushed the button and waited.

The elevator was extraordinarily slow. It felt like an entire lifetime before the doors opened on my floor. On the way up, I had spoken to many different executives who either hated Xigbar with a burning passion, or thought he was God's gift to music. They were all kind to me and probably thought I was a rock star's errand boy. But I didn't mind that much.

On the top floor, there were no windows, no other doors except for the one at the end of the hall, and no walls to speak of. Everything was coated in a cushion of material that felt like soft sponges. No doubt, they were used to absorb sound, and keep any unwanted noise for making its way onto a track.

I cautiously opened the door to the actual studio, where I saw Demyx sitting at an enormous mixing board. He looked stressed out, and I noticed dozens of cans of Red Bull scattered on the floor. There was a single beat, and the sound of guitars strings and violins. Horns and flutes, all mixed together in a perfect storm of pure bliss. But there was something wrong with it. Even though it sounded perfect, and there were no noticeable flaws that I could identify, it wasn't right. It felt too mechanical and lacked the human emotion that I was sure was poured into it during its production.

"Hello?" I thought I would caution announcing myself, though Demyx didn't look like he was in the mood.

Demyx turned around, eyes bloodshot, face slack. But as soon as he saw me, he frowned and spun back into place, completely ignoring me. He didn't even acknowledge my existence save for the disgusted look on his face.

"May I come in?"

Demyx didn't answer me and just waved his hand. It could have been taken as either an invitation, or a shun. I decided to take it as an invite, though it was probably meant as a dismissal and I sat on the small couch that was directly across from the mixing board. I spent a little under a half an hour just watching Demyx work. He moved knobs, and pushed buttons, and slid tiny levers up and down, but he was still never satisfied with whatever he was listening to. I thought it sounded fine, though I had absolutely no experience in the music field. I could still tell that it was missing the human emotion that made music come alive.

"Why are you here?"

Demyx had addressed me, and I had barely been aware of it until he turned and looked at me. "Why are you here?"

He sounded angry, and I didn't want to try and calm him. He had a right to be mad at me. After all, I had rejected everything about him even though he had exposed his entire being to me. I hadn't accepted him for who he was, and therefore, was wasting his time by being here.

But I wanted to make things right, really, I did. And to start, I had to apologize. But, not just say the words. I actually had to resort to begging, and trying my hand at making him laugh, and do everything I had to because I had fucked up this relationship. I had to do the work this time, not Demyx. And I was fully prepared to do so.

"I wanted to apologize."

"You tried that already," Demyx spat. "It didn't work. I don't want you in here."

"But, you need to listen to me."

"No!" Demyx yelled, jumping to his feet. "You need to listen to me! You have broken my heart one too many times. You are just wasting your time, trying to appease me with whatever lie you have locked away in that deranged little mind you have. I'm over it. I'm over you. Get the fuck out."

"I can't do that."

"Now, Zexion!"

"I can't do that!"

Demyx huffed and turned his head away. "If you don't leave now, I'll call security, and they will kindly throw you on your ass."

"Demyx," I started. I wanted to give him a reason to take me back. I tried to think of one thing that could make him forgive me in that instant, and I was coming up blank. I had nothing. No memories that could make us both smile, and no storied of good times to share. What we had was an emotional war. Not a friendship.

And, as I stood there and looked at the only person who had ever been there for me, I realized how much pain I had put this man through, and I deeply deeply regretted it. I wanted to scream my apologies, beg him for forgiveness and promise him everything in the world, but I just simply could not do it. I could accept him, I couldn't be the emotional equivalent of a shoulder to cry on, and I couldn't understand him.

I was a wall.

"Demyx," I took a breath and built up that confidence I had whenever I was trying to convince someone of something, but I was sincere. I wasn't going to hide anything from him, or lie, or not tell the whole truth. I was going to expose exactly who I was. My true self.

"I don't love you." I said flatly. "And I don't think I will. Not for a very long time. I cannot be that person for you when you feel like shit, because I will only make you feel worse. That's who I am. I don't even love Wes like I should, even though I've been providing him with everything he needed. I can't say I love you and mean it because I don't. I don't love anything.

"I don't know why I'm like this. I've tried being something else—someone else—but I just can't keep lying to myself. Love, to me, is like taking a hammer and smashing my fingers with it. I just don't want to deal with it right now. I can't take it.

"I can't love you." I hung my head, feeling better now that I had gotten that off my chest, but still feeling low. And I had almost forgotten the most important thing. "At least not yet." And that was the truth.

Demyx glared at me, and I glared right back, knowing that I could not do anything else besides that. That's what I did when I was trying to get my point across, and it usually worked. But not this time, I don't think. Demyx didn't say anything to me. He simply sat down and continued to move levers and twist knobs.

I sat down, not wanting to be over bearing. And I sat there for another half an hour. And then an hour, then two. I had fallen asleep on the couch. I was exhausted, and hearing the same song over and over again made it hard for me to concentrate. I heard the same sounds, rolling over each other, coaxing me into a dream world where everything was okay.

After a while, Demyx had nudged me awake. He was smiling for some unknown reason, and he pulled me up into a hug. He had been crying, I could hear it in his voice when he whispered his forgiveness into my ear. I was happy. And he had told me that he finished his song, and wanted me to hear it.

I politely declined, but Demyx whined. And I was overjoyed to hear that horrifying childish sound. He leaned on me, whining louder. I pushed him away, but he clung to my arm. And when I pushed him harder, he fell, taking me with him.

Just like at his apartment, we rolled over each other, the innocent play fighting turning into a real fight. I think Demyx was taking his frustrations out on me. And I deserved it. Though, it didn't hurt as much as last time. Mostly because that anger turned into lust rather quickly.

"I'll forgive you," Demyx said. He was lying right on top of me, so I couldn't escape. "But only on one condition."

I squirmed under his weight, but I was still trapped. "What's the condition?"

Demyx touched his nose to mine. "I get to tease you for all eternity."

"You'll forgive me if I let you make fun of me?" I asked incredulously.

To the outside observer, that didn't sound like such a bad condition. In fact, it sounded pretty easy. And considering my ego, and the way I handled most situations, that shouldn't have been such a hard thing to say yes to. He would only play a few pranks and make little references to it, right? But Demyx went way over board when it came to his pranks and 'little references'. His mockery would rain from the sky and make me feel incredibly stupid.

I should know. I've seen it before.

But, that wasn't so bad. And I was eager for his forgiveness, so I wiggled under him and nodded slowly. I knew I would regret it one day, but that day was not today. Demyx breathed on me, and I tried to not look at him, knowing that I would grow hot. He stared at me and pressed his lips to mine.

I instinctively turned my head away. And he pulled away and furrowed his brow.

"What?" he said. "Am I going too fast?"

"Uh…no," I said. I pushed up against him and he rolled off of me and helped me to my feet. "I just have to get Wes."

I left the room and headed down the hallway. And I didn't hear his footsteps as he approached me from behind. I didn't know he had been following me until he wrapped his arm over my shoulder and pushed the elevator button.

"I'll come with you," he said playfully.

"You don't have to do that." I knew I was blushing. There was no way he couldn't catch it either. It was obvious.

"Nonsense!" He cried. He pulled me into the elevator and pressed the Lobby button.

"Look," I said quietly. "I appreciate you, Demyx, really I do. It's just…"

"Do you want this?"

He question caught me off-guard, as did his sudden change in tone. He was asking me his most important question, and I realized that he was purposely trying to not use the "L" word. And, for that, I hugged him. The elevator came to a stop, and the doors opened behind me, but Demyx stopped the two men trying to come inside.

"Could you give us a little privacy?" Demyx asked. He held out a hand and the two men backed out of the car.

"You didn't have to do that," I said. I pulled away from him, still trying to stifle the blush on my cheeks. "That was inconvenient to them."

"I don't care," Demyx muttered. "Does that mean you accept?"

I sniffed. "I don't know. I mean, you have given me everything and I have nothing to show for it. I can't do anything for you."

Demyx winked at me. "That's not entirely true."

I didn't want to know where he was going with that, but it was pretty much presented itself when he kissed me again, only this time, I didn't resist him. The elevator doors opened again and a young woman stepped onto the elevator. We had parted from our heated make-out session, and I managed to smooth my hair down before she noticed anything. She stood in between us and I kept glancing at Demyx.

He was dancing on the balls of his feet, whistling merrily. As we reached the lobby, I think our sexual tension was audible. Xigbar passed us, Wes babbling in his arms.

"Hey," he called. "Where do you think you're going?"

Demyx danced up to him and pressed his hands together in prayer. I thought it looked funny, but I could see he was begging Xigbar for something. I wasn't sure what it was until Demyx whooped out loud and grabbed my hand again.

"Where is he—?"

"Don't worry about it," Demyx said. "He'll watch Wes for you."

I didn't get the chance to answer him before he shoved me into a taxi and closed the door. I wasn't even paying attention to the address that he gave the driver, and my mind was spinning in circles. Was this really happening?

Demyx pushed me back into the seat and attacked my mouth, probing the inside with his tongue roughly. I pushed him back.

"What are you doing?" I cried. He pressed his lips to mine again and pulled away. He was playing with me.

"Oi! Get out!" the cab driver yelled.

Demyx threw a wad of money at the driver and pulled me out of the taxi. He was so forceful, but gentle in the way he would lead me, or rather, the way he pushed me around. I didn't want to admit that I liked it. My God damn ego was getting in the way. But, I really didn't have time to think about it. Demyx was overbearing, pushing me against the wall of the hallway as he hastily unlocked the door to his apartment.

"You so cute when you blush," Demyx growled in my ear.

I pushed him away, turning away in embarrassment. "Stop it."

"No, really." Demyx said. "It's sexy."

I smiled and leaned in his arms. He hugged me and slid my coat off my shoulders slowly. My legs went numb, and I allowed Demyx to push me onto the couch. He kissed me roughly, nuzzling against my neck. I pulled him close to me, urging him forward.

He stripped my shirt off, keeping his lips on mine. We broke for only a moment, just enough time to remove my shirt, and he attacked me again. I had to pull my head away so I could breathe, but he wouldn't relent.

Then, he stopped. His nose was pressed to mine, and we panted on each other. I flushed. We didn't need to speak to ask each other if we truly wanted this. I already knew he wanted it.

But did I?

I dwelled on it for what? A minute? A second? I don't even know, but I found myself wrapping my arms around Demyx and biting every bit of flesh I could.

He was irresistible. He tasted so good, and I couldn't help myself. I exhibited every bit of enthusiasm as he did, returned every nibble and gentle caress. I was completely his, and we fit together so perfectly.

"Are you sure you want this?" Demyx asked as he licked my shoulder. "I don't want to do this if you don't want it."

He was lying. I knew he was lying. But, I didn't care. I nodded and pressed my body to his. He moaned softly, enjoying the contact we had. It was obvious that we were both aroused. I touched him softly, eliciting a short hiss of satisfaction from him. I liked the sound and pulled his clothing off. I didn't know what was driving me to do such a thing, but he wasn't complaining and neither was I.

I kissed him. We had a short battle over dominance, and he won, but I rolled over on top of him and ruffled his hair. I smiled devilishly and pulled the lobe of his ear with my teeth.

"Not this time, buddy," I huffed.

He groaned in annoyance, but I quickly turned that into a moan as I teased his nipples. I wasn't that good at showing affection, but when I had girlfriends they never complained. I worked my way down his chest and dipped my tongue into his belly button. I knew he was ticklish and I more than took advantage of that, choosing to brush his sides with the tip of my tongue. He giggled and wriggled underneath of me, whining as usual.

"Please," he whimpered. "Stop teasing."

"Sorry, Demyx," I stopped my teasing at stared at him. "That's what you get for choosing a sociopath."

He laced his fingers through my hair and moaned again. I returned to playing with his body, gently licking and nipping his skin. Laughing softy as his goosebumps grew. He urged me forward, but I was nervous. This would be my first time giving such pleasures to a guy, and I had never even thought about attempting it until today. I was scared that I would be bad at it, but I would just simply listen to his reaction.

Moans, good. Hisses, bad.

I'll admit that, at first, he hissed a lot. Always asking me to be careful. But, after I became more confident with my own ability, he relaxed, and he began to move with me. I enjoyed hearing his moans. I felt that arrogance rise in my heart, and I took Demyx in a little more than I had intended. I felt that gag-reflex force him back up, and at the same time, he reached that edge of ecstasy.

I had to swallow his juices or I was going to drown, and I was surprised that it tasted good. Fresh. A little tart and salty, but that was natural. I licked my lips and sat up, relishing in Demyx's slight trembles. I had pleased him.

But I looked down at my own neglected manhood and frowned. I was going to have to do something about it, or I was going to pass out. I grasped it firmly and pumped back and forth, feeling it harden more. Demyx was already there, breathing heavily. I moved my hand in rhythm with his pants, and was surprised to feel a second hand join mine. Demyx grinned and kissed me, pushing my hand away.

"Allow me."

I did. He wasted no time, and was much more skilled in the handling of such a sensitive organ than I was. He pushed me on my back and whispered the sweetest song in my ear. I was so close, it scared me. And I was trying to hold myself back. Trying to not give him more fodder for his teasing, but he was relentless. I tried to stay quiet, but Demyx made sure that that was an impossible task.

I came in his hand, crying his name just like I had before. My hands found his hair and I scratched his scalp as I rode out my orgasm. He enjoyed my moans just as much as I had enjoyed his, and he curled up next to me, still singing. If there was one thing he could not stand to not do, it was sing. He sang in the shower, he sang while making breakfast, and he sang while he fucked me.

And I loved it.

I think I was the one to fall asleep first. Demyx had hummed his melodies when he became too tired to sing, and it drifted off as he nestled his face in my hair. We slept like that for a few hours, wrapped in our own fluids, covered in kisses and bite marks. I was happy, the hole in my heart filled with emotions that I had seldom ever felt. I think my mind had just fastened itself a family it liked.

Picture perfect in almost every way.

* * *

***Shrug* Not sure if that was good. I think it added to the story, so it wasn't a pointless sex scene. *is trying to rationalize***

**Whatever. Hope you loved it. Leave reviews and blah blah blah, you know the rest. I think there maybe one more chapter before the whole big epic ending that I love. We'll see how the next chapter comes out. And I don't know if this counts as novel length yet, but it is slightly longer than a ficlet, shorter than novel-length. I think this is oficially a novella. Horray!**

**Has a nice day. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Good morning to all you early birds. Haji here with another chapter for your reading pleasure. Lots of things happen in this chapter, but you will just have to wait and see. This is the second to last chapter for those of you keeping count. *sadface***

**Enjoy.**

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I woke up the next morning, uneasy and afraid. My back was stiff from sleeping on the floor and I stretched. I had slept with Demyx last night, and it was on purpose. I didn't feel ashamed of myself when I rubbed the crust from my eyes, but there was definitely something on my mind. I think I was worried about my situation, and I hated the fact that I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy things as much any more. And that came with the realization that I wasn't fun. I was slightly peeved by that.

"Good morning, lovely," Demyx sang as he gave me a plate of eggs. He sat across from me on the floor and dug in.

"Good morning."

"What's wrong?" Demyx swallowed a mouthful of food and stared at me. "You look a little distracted. Did I not do a good job?"

I shook my head and ate silently. I was thinking.

"Something's on your mind." Demyx said slyly. "I know it. You're doing that depressed staring thing that you do when you're worried about something."

I looked up at him and frowned. He seriously needed to stop reading me like that. It was beginning to get on my nerves, but I cherished it. At least he wasn't being that obvious about it. I took another bite of food and sighed.

"I have to go take care of some things," I said. I was being purposely vague, but he caught that. I could see it.

"Gonna go home?" He asked.

"Uhh, yeah." Lie. "I was going to see if I could get some time off from work." Lie. "And maybe see if I could find a new job." That wasn't a lie.

Demyx narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, and I already knew that _he_ knew I was lying. "You should stop doing that."

"What?" I asked defensively.

"Lying," Demyx said simply. "If this relationship is going to work, you can't do that. And…you're really bad at it. I don't know if anyone ever told you that before."

"Maybe once or twice," I mumbled.

"So," He stood and collected the dishes and tossed them in his sink. "What's up? What are you hiding that's so bad, you need to attempt to lie to me?"

I closed up. That was my first defense when I was being probed like that. To hide in a shell of barbed wire. But, almost as soon as I was about to lash out, I remembered that I was supposed to be working at this relationship. I had to tell the truth, no matter how much my ego would be bruised.

"Let's just say I've been living in less than desirable conditions for a while."

Demyx stared at me unblinkingly. He was reading my mind again. But, this time, I would let him, and I would try to not let my arrogance get the better of me. Not this time. Those days were over.

So, I confessed everything to him. And he just sat there, listening to me. At first I was complacent, sure of my actions and I didn't regret them one bit. But, after a while, I found myself scrutinizing everything that I had done. I was double-talking, repeating myself, and the natural psychological reactions to traumas like that were beginning to resurface. I was angry most of the time, but then, I broke down. And I cried.

But only a little.

I still had far too much pride to openly express my emotions to anyone. Even to Demyx, though it was much easier. He didn't try to stop me, and he didn't say anything after I had finished. He had offered me a tissue, which I declined of course, and patted me on the shoulder. I struggled to not flinch at his touch, because I knew it was caring. And he helped me to my feet and hugged me tightly.

"It's okay," Demyx whispered. "I've got you."

I wanted to believe him. And I was sure that somewhere in my heart, I did. But, I was so used to having to take care of everything on my own, I couldn't bear the feeling of letting someone else shoulder some of my problems. I pushed Demyx away and went to the bathroom. He didn't follow me like I had expected him to, but I was okay with that.

I turned the water on, and stepped into the shower. I was enveloped in warmth, and I relaxed, letting the steam seep into my muscles. I had a long day ahead of me, and I wanted to be as ready as possible to deal with it. When I had finally turned the water off, I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped out. I was surprised to find a small pile of clothing waiting for me. It was neatly folded and just my size. I silently thanked Demyx and dressed quickly.

"Oh, you look nice." Demyx said as I sat next to him.

"You dressed me like a tiny emo child," I retorted.

And it was true, he did dress me like an emo child. A stereotype of a prepubescent teen that lived in Hot Topic. I paled when I realized that I was even small enough to fit this clothing. I never even heard of Escape the Fate before. But, Demyx dressed me like the way he wanted to see me. I was fine with that, and I was sure there was some devious little devil underneath that wanted to fuck me again.

Personally, I wouldn't mind that either.

"Sorry, buddy," Demyx kissed me on the cheek. "I thought it would be a nice change to your normal, smart-person attire."

I blushed. "But, you see me as emo?"

"Well, with that hair," He ruffled my hair and smirked. "You look like a teenager. I thought I would poke fun at it a little. But, no, you do not strike me as emo. In fact, you are probably the farthest thing from it."

He ran his fingers through my hair slowly. That simple motion alone made me weak in the knees, but I had things to take care of. And as much as I had wanted to stay and mess around, I left Demyx's apartment and went on the search of a job. Any job I could find, though I was really aiming for my field. I was certified to be a nurse, but I had never been able to get a nursing job back home. They all knew about that 'cheating' thing. Even though I didn't cheat.

But, this wasn't back home. This was New York City. A plethora of opportunity. And I was going to get myself a nursing job. I just had to figure out how to secure this imaginary job looking the way I did. I glanced at myself in a window and gasped at the stranger staring back. The dark circles around my eyes completed the look. I was a stick thin, starving raccoon. It was official. And Demyx was going to get a piece of my mind when I had the time.

I walked into the nearest hospital and approached the front desk. The woman sitting there looked at me over her glasses. She clicked her teeth and pointed at a stack of papers.

"Please fill that out and have a seat."

"What are you talking about?"

"What's wrong, hon?" She asked impatiently. "Cut wrists? Feelings of suicide?"

I frowned as it occurred to me that she was referencing my attire. I'll admit that it was dark, but she had no right to talk to me like that. But, I could not ruin my chance at a job by biting her head off right off the bat. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and smiled.

"Actually, I'm interested in a job."

She scoffed and looked me up and down. "Yeah right. Look, we don't take riffraff here."

"I apologize for my appearance," I said politely. "I could go home and change into interview attire if it would please you so. I'm here to inquire about a nursing job, and would not wish to inconvenience you further. I would like to speak to the Head of the Nursing Department."

"You're funny, kid," the woman said. "But, I can tell you're not stupid. Fill out an application, and I'll see what I can do."

I thanked her and filled out the paperwork. And it wasn't long afterwards when I was speaking to the Head of the Nursing Department, a kind woman named Aerith. She didn't give me a job. The budget was too tight, but she did offer me an internship that could work around my other responsibilities. I had explained to her that, even though I was certified to be a nurse, I wanted to just work in a hospital until I could finally pass that test. I didn't mention that I was almost a brain surgeon. I thought that would have been too much.

So, things were going well for me at that moment. I was flying high, getting my life back on track, and securing my independence once again. I had to work something out about housing, because I was still broke, but I was sure that Demyx would be willing to compromise with me. He would jump at the chance to be my roommate again, and get the chance to do it right.

So, I was smiling. Really smiling and I felt so good about myself. My self-confidence was given a boost, though it didn't need it. And I felt on top of the world. Just like I did when I passed my exams. I couldn't have been happier. But, then my phone rang.

I didn't think anything of it. It sounded just like any other time my phone rang. And, even to this day, I couldn't sense that there was something wrong. But, when I answered my phone, all I could remember was that horrified tone in Xigbar's voice, and the shrill cries of my son on the other end. Something had happened.

I asked the same questions over and over again. What happened? Where are you? Is he okay? And I panicked as I made my way to a hospital on the other side of the city. More than one worst case scenario was running through my mind. What if I couldn't be there for Wes? What if they kicked us out because I didn't have insurance? What if Wes was dead when I got there?

I hastily threw those thoughts away. I didn't want to chance it coming into existence of I dwelled on it too long. But, upon my arrival to the Emergency Room, those questions reared themselves again. What happened? Is he okay? Doctors and nurses where everywhere, screaming medications and instructions to each other. I could understand exactly what they were talking about, and it scared the shit out of me.

Wes had fallen, and he was bleeding. They were going to have to operate, and I thought that was ridiculous. I didn't want anyone in my son's head except for me. And I expressed those feelings by beating the shit out of the surgeon who introduced himself to me. He seemed like a nice enough guy. Smart, steady-handed, but he didn't look like he cared very much about what I wanted.

Of course I was detained and taken out of the hospital. I fought the whole way, screaming about how I could do a better job on the surgery even though I wasn't certified, and the only patient I ever had was a corpse voiced by a sabotaging bitch. I don't have the slightest idea what came over me. I acted violently, and probably ruined any chances of a career that I still had left if I had anything.

So, I sat. In a room with security. They didn't charge me with anything because they claimed to understand what it was I was going through. I ignored the security guard, and wallowed in my own thoughts. I was dying as I sat there. Wes was so young, and I couldn't believe that something like that had even happened. How it could have happened. There were so many things that just didn't add up to me.

But, I was a stressed out father who had a little more on his plate than he could handle. Even now, I still can't remember exactly what happened, though that fear was deep rooted. I don't even know where half the things I was feeling came from. There was anger and fear naturally. My son had suffered a head injury doing God knows what. But, there was also this peculiar sense of dread. Like I knew something was going to be wrong with him afterwards.

And, at that moment, I wished that I had been wrong.

I don't know how much time passed before I was allowed to go see him. One of the nurses told me a few days. But, it seemed to have been an eternity. And I didn't sleep a wink. I was slightly delirious when I was allowed to go up, but Demyx was there, half carrying me. I had no idea when he had finally shown up, but I didn't care. He was there for me and that's all that mattered. He tried to keep the air light, but I snapped at him several times, wounding our relationship once again.

Though, I'm sure he understood. He told me I was being an asshole, and I was still surprised by the fact that he was cursing more often. He kept telling me to calm down, but I couldn't listen to him. My mind was still on high. Running at a thousand miles a second. I wasn't thinking straight, because I believe I was punched in the face. Twice I think. And I remember Demyx being the one knocking sense into me. I wasn't sure then how much it worked until I was looking at Wes.

They had him on a bed, but it was tiny, and I found it bitterly funny how he looked. I examined his bandages myself and determined that whatever happened to him wasn't that bad. It looked like they had only opened his brain to make sure everything was okay, though they neglected to mention that to me when they told me what they were doing. From the bruises I could see, he had hit himself with something metal. And they only needed to relieve the pressure. All in all, not the worst thing that could have happened. I glanced at his charts, too. And there was nothing out of the ordinary. Slightly low on vitamin D, but his reflexes were working and he responded to his environment.

And, for that, I was relieved.

But, still, they had him sedated, and I didn't want Wes to be that way. He was too young to be so heavily medicated, and under other conditions, I would have requested that they bring him up. However technology had come a long way, and it wasn't so dangerous to have a child under anesthesia. As I stared at him, I think I must have fainted, or fell, or something because I could only remember flashes of things happening.

It started with a brief period where all I could see was a blot of red. And then white walls, and a rainbow colored bird that I couldn't recognize to be the NBC logo until later. I remember the smell of fruit and sugar. And when I opened my eyes, Demyx was sitting across from me with a small bag of Skittles.

"What happened?" I asked weakly. Then, panic struck me again. "Where's Wes?"

Demyx stood up and opened the blinds. He looked somber, but he seemed to be laughing on the inside. For some reason, I felt insulted. "Wes is fine."

"But, they cut his head open!" I shouted. Why was he so calm? Had he not seen what they did to him?

Demyx laughed and handed me his bag of Skittles. "No, they didn't. You suffered from a panic attack."

"What? That's impossible!" I sat up in the bed, and down at my legs. They had been restrained. "Panic attacks only happen if triggered by intense prolonged periods of stress."

Demyx laughed again. "And what? You don't think you weren't stressed out enough? Do you think that everything weighing down on your shoulders wasn't enough to trigger one?" He poked my nose childishly. "You had way too much on your plate mister. So you panicked."

"But Wes is okay?"

Demyx patted me on the head. "Yeah, he's fine. He only hit his head, and not even that hard. They gave him a CAT scan, wrapped him up, and he's ready to go."

I was still feeling that tightness in my chest. That fear and urgency to move. Things weren't adding up to me. It was like my brain had turned off, and was flipping between being alert and being completely numb at extremely inconvenient intervals. I was annoyed by that, but I was more annoyed with myself. How could I be so weak as to have a panic attack?

* * *

A few hours later, I was released, and the first thing I did was call my father. When he answered the phone, he didn't sound too happy to hear me again, and growled at me. I took it in stride and forgot all my differences with him.

"I just got out of the hospital today," I said.

"Well, good for you."

"Wes had hit his head," I explained. "And when I arrived, I had a panic attack."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He didn't sound too apologetic, but that wasn't what I was worried about.

"Dad," I had cut him off, because I wasn't interested in his excuses, or his shallow self-worth. "You never mentioned that panic attacks ran in our family."

"It wasn't important to know," he said curtly. "You never suffered from them when you were a child. I never suffered through them. What did it matter?"

"Dad," I was getting angry with him, and Demyx sat up straighter. Wes was sitting in his lap, and he looked at me too. "You should have let me know. Do you have any idea how this will affect my ability to get a job? How this affects my life?"

"You failed, son." The bitterness in his voice made me feel low. Like I was nothing, though my self-confidence was battling that feeling away. "All I wanted was for you to do was succeed, and you failed."

"I'm a fucking doctor, Dad!" I cried. "What more do you want? I went through the hardest courses at the toughest schools, and aced every single one. I can perform brain surgery. Is that not enough? What's wrong with me?"

"You are still flawed."

And he hung up the phone. I stood there with the receiver in my hand for a long time before I put it down. The buzz of the dial tone was still fresh in my ears, but it couldn't drown out the last thing my father ever said to me. I was still flawed. And the first thing that I thought was what the hell that was supposed to mean. I was still flawed? Was that some kind of trick question? Or a cruel joke?

Demyx tried to comfort me, but I was unresponsive. I didn't lash out at him, but I still couldn't wrap my mind around what "flawed" meant? I was smart, at least semi attractive, and graced with a lover that loved me even though I was a prick ninety-five percent of the time. What could possibly be wrong with me?

"Don't think about it, buddy," Demyx said as he put Wes down for a nap. "Your father is a bigger asshole than you."

He paused for a second, with a look of regret. I knew what he meant, but I think he didn't like the way it sounded out loud. I hugged him, and he sniffed my hair. I'm not sure exactly what his motives were, but he seemed to be appealing to my dislike of using words like "love" and did things to me that seemed weird. I understood where most of his actions came from, and I was really the only one who could appreciate the way he loved me.

That night, after he coaxed me into his bed, and made love to me, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and gave me the most innocent look he could muster. A look that wanted me to stay there forever with him. A look that I had never seen between anybody, not even my own parents. He wanted to return his feelings, but that buffer was still there. I couldn't make that face, no matter how much I wanted to.

And, that night, he proposed to marry me.

And, that night, I accepted.

* * *

**Aww, such a sweet ending. I thought they deserved it. Didn't think Zexion was the type to get hitched, but you never know someone until they trip you up like that. As for the 'flawed' part. Anyone who can correctly guess what is really wrong with Zexion is a fucking mind reader. And I will give you a personal thank you note in the last chapter. Though, it may seem a tad hard to spot, if you've been paying attention to Wes's behavior, you should be able to figure it out.**

**Good luck. And has a nice day. :)**

**Oh, and by the by, I've gotten requests for another lemon. I would not add one for the last chapter because it would not add to this story at all. BUT...you might get a special surprise lemon as a treat after the next chapter. But, only if you're good and something comes to mind. It would be almost completely pointless, but you might be surprised. I might even do it from Demyx's point of view. Give me your thoughts.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Well, hello to all of my wonderful readers. This is the final chapter of Fatherhood. I do hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really appreciate all your supprot, and hopefully you will all return when I decide to write another short novel whilst waiting for my _The Nobody Virus _chapters from my buddy, DeadShut.**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

For the next six months after Demyx proposed to me, I had worked at the hospital under Aerith. I learned a lot about kindness, understanding, and humbleness. The work was hard, and everyday afterwards, I would make it home and collapse on the first soft surface I touched. Most of the time it was the floor, but Demyx was so loving as to carry me to bed every night. He loved me so much, and even though we were engaged, I was not allowed to tell anyone that I was married because it had not yet been passed into law in the City if New York.

But, we were happy. My panic attacks came under control as soon as I told Demyx about my homelessness, and he accepted me into his house without a second thought. I had to go to therapy, but I often skipped it, choosing to be with Demyx on my days off instead. It was unfair how well he treated me. And all those threats about teasing me never came to fruition, which I thought was nice.

Six months after that, Wes turned two. And for his birthday, we took him to a play on Broadway. Peter Pan. He loved it. I could see the wonder in his eyes, and it reminded me of the way I used to look at things when I was younger. That same night, Demyx told me he wanted a child. I told him no, but the look on his face made me wither inside, so I promised him that after I passed my test, we could adopt a little baby girl.

When Wes was two and a half years old, I began to grow concerned about his development. He was at the age where he should have been stringing together simple sentences, but he hadn't spoken much. In fact, I think he had only ever called me Daddy once, and that was after my first day of work. He hadn't spoken since. I wasn't that in tune with how a parent should be, but even I could see that there was something wrong.

So, Demyx and I took Wes to a doctor. A specialist who headed his department in Child Developmental Disorders. He was a fat man, and snobbish, not unlike what I had been before Life handed me my ass. He looked down at me, literally and figuratively speaking. I was much shorter than him, but he spoke to me like I was a stupid man with no responsibilities. He was blunt, and concise, as if he were trying to hurt my feelings.

And to some degree it worked. I felt hot, and I wanted to show that doctor just how much of an idiot I was. I could make him a drooling vegetable if I had wanted, but upon such a rush of hatred, I had another panic attack. I managed to get it under control rather quickly, but I had to step out of the room to do so. When I returned to his office he stood up, shook my hand curtly and told me what was wrong with Wes.

He had Autism.

But, it was mild. A form of Asperger Syndrome. It explained his lack of verbal communication, and his constant analytical stare. The first thing I did was deny it. He couldn't have had such a debilitating condition. The only thing I could think about was how hard life was going to be for him, and how he was flawed.

And the last conversation I had with my father came instantly to mind. Flawed. And I turned those horrible thoughts away, thinking that if I thought that way, then Wes would be no better in my eyes than I was in the eyes of my father. I couldn't let that happen.

"What do I do?"

It was a simple question, not directed at anybody in particular. I just hoped that someone would be able to answer it for me. Anyone. Because, I was once again alone in the world, even though Demyx was right by my side. He hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear.

"You love him," he said. "That simple."

The doctor looked at me and Demyx, and disapproved our relationship, but he had us sit down again, and, this time, he directed his questions at me. He asked me a lot of the same questions he had asked Wes when determining his condition, and I felt insulted that he would do something like that to me. He made a few calls, and left his office for a long time.

As we sat there, Demyx kept trying to comfort me, even going so far as to initiate sexual play. I had declined his request, but I gave him that playful glance, though it was cloaked in worry. He patted me on the head and kissed me.

"Everything's going to be okay," he assured me.

I wanted to believe him, but I just didn't have the heart. The doctor returned with a file in his hands, and Wes toddling beside him. Wes smiled when he saw me, but didn't speak. He rushed to me, and the doctor sat at his desk.

"I called for your file," he said. "And I found that you had come to a sister office to this one. I transferred your file here, and found that you, too, have Asperger's. I'm surprised you didn't tell me that before. The process wouldn't have been so strenuous if I had known it ran in your family."

I furrowed my brow. I didn't say anything out loud, but I assumed that was another hereditary condition my father forgot to mention to me. I suppose I now know what he meant by flawed. But, I was a doctor myself. I don't understand how I could have gotten so far with Autism. I didn't even recognize it. Even though I had seen studies about it, and it was a crucial part of human brain studies, no one ever told me that I had any symptoms.

But, secretly, I knew that Wes would be just fine. If I had gotten this far, so would he. Demyx took my hand, and we left the doctor's office, declining any and all assistance with the raising of our child. Demyx knew I was in distress, and Wes seemed to pick up on his anguish over _my _anguish. I couldn't believe that I had gone through my whole life with Autism and didn't even know it. And I began to wonder how mild it was.

I never noticed any problems with speaking other than the fact that I did not enjoy much conversation. I wasn't exactly a social butterfly, but I was always working towards my goal, and my father had always pushed me to do better. That said nothing. But, I did have a problem with relationships. Forming them, keeping them, and adhering to the rules set before me when it came to social interactions. But, then every teenager on the planet would be considered Autistic. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

So, I called the doctor back, and asked him what my file said. I asked him what on this Earth made someone think that I had Asperger's. I listened carefully to his answer, scrutinizing it in every sense. The words he used, the tone of his voice, and what, according to my best judgments, his face looked like as he spoke.

"When you were first evaluated by our sister office, the doctor who evaluated you noticed that you had a lack of eye contact. You did not respond to verbal commands, and you did not follow directions very well. You kept picking up books with pictures of brains in them and telling him that you wanted to be a brain doctor. You kept placing red, green, and blue toys in a specific order, and reacted violently when the doctor tried to change the pattern.

"When introduced to other children your age, you reacted harshly to their invitations of play. Throwing tantrums, screaming loudly at higher-pitched sounds, placing things in specific orders. All signs of Autism.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Harrison. But, our tests were conclusive. You do have Asperger's. If you would like to take another evaluation, you are more than welcome to. But, I doubt the results will be any different.

"Your concerns about how you managed to go through your life with minimal interference from your condition can quite simply be explained by the fact that your father had you under constant surveillance. He pushed you to do better, and had you learn at our institutions. You could get over it because you were trained to be exactly what you wanted to be. If you had been taken out of that situation, you probably would have had a breakdown and would have been institutionalized. And I don't think you would have wanted that."

I breathed shallowly. All of those notes were in a file that I had no idea existed. I felt bad again, and very angry, but the thought that my father did all that for me because he loved me made me hate him less. He was still an asshole, and I would probably never speak to him again, but at least he left me with a tiny glimmer of hope. That there really was something that I could do for Wes. It would all be a matter of helping him become what he wanted to be.

"What do you suggest I do?" I asked softly.

"Wait until you see signs of future development. If he begins to explore his interests, help him through it. He should have no problem picking up on things. He just has a problem expressing them. Maybe when he finds his 'life's calling', things will come easier to him. You managed to get through it. So will he."

I hung up the phone without another word. I had to figure out how to take care of Wes. I had to help him become what he wanted to be. And several things came to mind at the same time. What if he wanted to be something impossible? What if he wanted to be a dragon? Or a dog? I would never be able to help him become something like that. I felt a tightening in my chest and took a couple of deep breaths. I had to calm down, or I was going to have a panic attack.

I blinked slowly, mulling the new set of problems over in my mind. I was going to have to tread carefully. I could do this. I could be a good father to Wes, I knew it. I was just about to return to Demyx and Wes when the phone rang. Wes looked up at me, but did nothing else. I was beginning to notice that he was growing more distant, not wanting to be touched, or hugged like before.

Demyx frowned. "Who is it?"

"I don't know." I glanced at the caller I.D. "I don't recognize the number."

"Let it go to voicemail," Demyx said. He turned back to Wes and cooed at him, but did not get a response. "If it's important, they'll leave a message."

I shrugged and put the phone down. I sat next to Demyx and picked up one of Wes's toys. The doctor told me that I had to work on Wes's ability to identify different things, so he taught me an exercise to help Wes develop cognitive skills.

"What is this?" I asked Wes softly. He stared at me. I think I saw a flicker of interest, but I wasn't entirely sure. "Wes, what is this?"

He blinked a couple times, but neither smiled, nor frowned. He reached out for the toy and placed it in front of him. I waited for him to play with it, but he didn't. I sighed and picked up the toy again, becoming slightly frustrated.

"Wes, what is this?" I had almost barked at him, but Demyx stopped me.

"Calm down," he said. "Here, let me try."

He took the toy from me and kissed me gently. His way of dismissing me. The phone had stopped ringing, and the person had left a message, but I was barely paying attention. I wanted to help Wes, I really did, but I didn't have the patience to deal with him at the time. Instead, I decided to listen to the message. I had a feeling it was going to be either Xigbar with a request to meet and work on Demyx's music, or it was going to be Aerith with a request for me to come into work early.

But, to my surprise, it was neither.

"Good afternoon, this message is in regards to student Zexion Harrison."

My heart skipped a beat.

"This message is to inform you that your certification retest is scheduled six months from today on December third. This message is a reminder that you may retake your certification exam as per your previous agreement with Dean Sturgis. This is a courtesy call so that you have ample time to prepare.

"Any and all paperwork must be returned in order to receive your diploma and must be sent to our offices as soon as possible. We regret to inform you that you will not be permitted to attend a graduation and that your diploma, if you should receive one, will be mailed to you at the address we have on file.

"Please direct any and all questions to our Student Services department. We hope you have a nice day."

The first reaction to that message was pure joy, and Demyx's laughter rang in my ears. He had heard exactly the same thing that I did, and was celebrating before I even had a chance to let it sink in. He jumped to his feet and rushed into the kitchen. I'm not sure if Wes was responding to anything that was going on around him, but when Demyx returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses, he cried at the uproarious banter.

"Demyx, stop playing around."

Demyx picked Wes up and hugged him. Wes struggled against him, but Demyx wouldn't let him go. "Aww, loosen up. You're going for your test soon. You should celebrate!"

"I have far too many responsibilities, you know that." He poured me a glass of wine. "And getting drunk is not what we should be doing right now. We need to tend to Wes."

"Zexion, Wes will be fine." He shoved the glass in my hand and drank from his own. "You're a good father. He'll be okay, I promise." He winked. "And besides, I'm going to help you study."

"I find that hard to believe," I mumbled. "I never once saw you study. Ever."

Demyx hugged me. "What can I say? I have a gift."

He danced around me, celebrating my graduation before I had the chance to take the test and pass it. But I didn't want to ruin his fun. I thought he should at least be allowed that. He was my husband, even if I couldn't tell anybody.

And…I loved him.

* * *

December third came a lot faster than I thought it would, and Demyx's career took off in those few months. He had been offered record deals, and was bringing in most of our income, even though I worked a hell of a lot more than he did. He was lazy, but he tried his best. And he had been setting up more and more concerts. And December third was no different.

Wes and I sat on the train that was going to take us to Baltimore. Wes had taken an interest in trains. He loved them. That, so far, had been the only thing that I could find that would spark his interest like that. Trains and Peter Pan. Almost nothing else. And I was fine with that.

I was surprised how well Wes was handling the educational techniques that I had learned. He was almost up to speed on everything it took to be considered a "normal, functional three year old". The only thing is that he didn't like to talk and when he did, he would only whisper what he wanted to say in my ear. Or Demyx's. Nobody else's.

He was intelligent. A little slow on learning things, but I helped him through it. I had not wanted to follow in my father's footsteps, but I did let Wes learn at the same office where he had been diagnosed. It was too long of a commute for us to continue to live in New York City, so we moved to a little apartment outside the city. I ended up having to commute into the city so I could still work with Aerith.

But, that was in the past.

Right now, I was anxiously waiting for Demyx. He was late, and I was afraid that he wasn't going to be there for my test. I mean, I could have taken it without him there, but we were so close, that I was afraid that I would lose my bearings if he wasn't there for me. Wes seemed anxious as well, and I helped him to calm down by asking him to name all the things he saw. Another cognitive exercise.

He looked out the window and pointed at things but didn't name them. Instead, he beckoned me forward and cupped his hands over my ears.

"Where's Daddy?" he asked.

"Daddy will be here," I said. I frowned. Even though I had tried to teach him that Demyx wasn't Daddy, he never broke the habit. So I was Daddy, and so was Demyx. The only issue was when he addressed one of us, we were never really sure who he was talking about.

"Don't be sad, Daddy."

Wes's simple request made me smile. He was so loving even though he was having a hard time just like I was. I knew he would have a hard time building a relationship, and he would never be happy unless he had an understanding partner, like how Demyx was to me.

The train conductor announced his last call, and stepped onto the train. Wes grew excited at the sight of the man and smiled. I looked around, still not being able to find Demyx. He was going to miss the train. My heart fluttered and flopped. I was more than disappointed. He promised that he was going to be there.

I guess not.

The train was well on its way when I heard a commotion from behind. I didn't swivel around like I had every other time I heard people behind me because I knew it wasn't going to be Demyx, no matter how much I wished it was. Wes sat across from me, staring out the window. I think all the wonder left when we had left the station, and I was beginning to think that maybe he didn't like trains. Just train stations.

I was moody. Angry that Demyx wasn't there, and was just about scream in frustration when I felt two hands cover my eyes.

"Guess who."

I folded my arms. "Is it The Ghost of Christmas Past?"

Demyx leaned in my face. "No, but you're close. I'm glad I found you."

I smiled, but tried my best to keep frowning. I wasn't doing very well because Demyx ruffled my hair and sat next to Wes. I stared at him, speechless.

He scratched the back of his head and giggled. "I thought you said thirty-four D. Figures you're in B car. It was a misunderstanding."

"I thought you weren't coming," I whispered.

"And that poor businessman thought I was his realtor." Demyx laughed. "You should have seen the look on his face when I told him I had the wrong seat. He was so happy."

I avoided making eye contact with him. I was embarrassed that he had seen me so distressed, since I was supposed to be the one who was the rock in our relationship. He didn't seem to mind, and took to playing with Wes. Wes responded minimally, but he was responding. That was a good sign.

"So, I have a surprise for you." Demyx said after a while. "It's a really good surprise."

"Oh, really?" I pouted. "And will you tell me what said surprise is?"

He frowned and pouted right back. "But, you won't be surprised if I tell you now. You have to wait."

"You are being purposely difficult."

He smiled again and poked me in my forehead. "I know. But, you're _really _going to like it. You might just laugh."

"Is it really that special?" I asked.

"Yes, but you have to wait."

I crossed my arms. "If it's not the greatest thing in the whole world, I'm going to kick your ass."

"Okay."

"I mean it."

"_Okay_."

* * *

Needless to say, I passed my exam with the highest grade in the school's history. They did not welcome me with open arms, and did not appreciate having to sign my certification. In fact, of all the people who showed up to recognize my achievements, two were actual people I knew, and the rest were people waiting for some seminar that hadn't started yet. I was just someone getting in their way.

But, Demyx clapped for me. And so did Wes a little. And that made me feel special.

After the exam, Demyx took me out, and we had a good enough time. Again, White Russians seemed to make their way into our system, and I woke up the next morning with Skittles all over the hotel room. So far, Demyx and I agreed to never speak of what happened that night. Mostly because we can't remember half of it, and what we do remember would never be admitted to the public. Ever.

But, we cleaned ourselves up, picked Wes up from his parent's place, and headed back to our little apartment outside New York. Demyx hadn't mentioned what that surprise was, and it was bothering me how secretive he was about it. I asked him a couple of times but he ignored me or changed the subject entirely.

We sat across from each other. Wes was sleeping, and I was getting annoyed. I hissed most of our conversation. It wasn't fair. He wasn't allowed to be such a tease unless he was going to fuck me.

"Tell me."

Demyx laughed at me. "You need to calm down. I'm still waiting for it."

I bristled, agitated. "You mean you don't even have it?"

"Well, yes and no." He smiled sheepishly. "I didn't actually get confirmation for it yet." He faltered under my glare. "But, Xigbar promised this would go through without a hitch."

"And we all know how reliable Xigbar is," I spat.

"You don't have to be so mean, buddy." Demyx mimicked my movements and gave me exactly the same look I was giving him. "I'm only trying to give you the bestest most wonderful surprise ever. You should be more patient."

I huffed and looked out the window. I was a certified brain surgeon. Top of the class. Highest marks, but it didn't have the same feel as I thought it would. Probably because I was trying to figure out what this Almighty of almighty surprises was, and I, for the life of me, couldn't figure it out.

Demyx glanced at his phone a few hours later while the train had stopped to refuel. He smiled widely, but I did my best to ignore him. He was hiding something from me, I knew it. He stared at me and grinned. Just grinned, with the stupidest look on his face I had seen in a while. I'm talking years.

"I have a surprise for you," he moaned.

"I've heard."

"You're going to like it." He said.

"I'm sure."

"Do you want to know what it is?"

I looked at him, and then broke eye contact. "I would."

"Okay, so you know how you want to be a brain surgeon, right?" He was using that I'm-not-going-to-tell-you-what-I'm-really-talking-about voice that he had when he wanted to make me suffer through his games.

"I am a brain surgeon, Demyx," I corrected. "I no longer want to be. I am."

"Whatever," He waved me off and continued with his story. "Well, Xigbar knows a guy who knows a guy who works in admissions at MIT."

"And?"

"Well," He paused, weighing the situation. I think I might have intimidated him. "I kind of sent your resume to that guy."

"The friend of the friend of the guy who works at admissions at MIT, who also happens to know Xigbar?" I asked incredulously. I was being purposefully sarcastic, but I'm not sure if Demyx caught it.

"Yeah! And he said he was interested and that you would be a valuable addition to their student body and…"

I blinked. And I blinked again. If he was saying what I thought he was saying. "You got me into MIT?"

Demyx nodded and laughed. "And, that means we could move to Massachusetts. And Massachusetts allows gay marriage. You and I could finally get married!" He hugged me. "And we could have ten thousand kids."

I pushed him away. "Ten thousand might be a little much. How about two?"

"Hundred?"

"Not nearly that many." I fell silent for a brief moment. That news hadn't quite sunk in yet, and as it started to seep into my brain, I could only think of one thing. If I attended MIT, then I could devote my entire life to figuring out the human brain. That is what I've wanted more than anything, and I would be able to unravel the mysteries of Autism so I could help Wes even more than I could now. It was my dream.

And, at that moment, I laughed.

A simple, pure sound. Unaffected by sarcasm or irony or any kind of spite or worry. And Demyx laughed right along with me. I was happy. Unburdened. And I was wallowing in it. I couldn't believe how well my life turned out, even though it had been so hard. We were moving to Boston. Starting a new life in a new city so we could move on and be happy. We were going to get married, and adopt a little baby girl. And we were going to be together.

But, then something occurred to me. We were, above all else, a family. The talented musician, the intelligent young son, and the brain surgeon. And as we laughed together as a family for the first time, I could only think about what other people saw. We had to be the strangest family anyone had ever seen.

And I was just fine with that.

* * *

**So, everyone got a happy ending. I thought they deserved it, and they had gone through enough hardship. I suppose this is a relatively realistic relationship. (But, what do I know?)**

**By the by, I do not believe that Autism is a flaw. That was just Zexion's father being a douche bag. I actually know a girl with Asperger's and I had no idea until she told me. I didn't even really know what it was until I did some reaserch on it, so *insert disclaimer here* I am also not a doctor, so don't take my "diagnosis" too seriously.**

**Thank you to all. I loved your reviews. And thanks especially to luckless-is-me and JakeyScruffles. You guys rock, and your reviews were nice and detailed with a little more words of encouragement. Thank you. Glad you liked the story.**

**So...about a second lemon. There is a thought in my mind for one. It would be from Demyx's point of view, and I think I actually found a decent connection to make. So, let me know if you want it. (Like I even have to ask.) Until next time.**

**Has a nice day. :)**


	13. I Do!

**So, here it is. A lemon...sorta...from Demyx's point of view. I hope you all enjoy this. This is the final chapter. I thought this was a fairly important plot point that I never got to use with Zexion's point of view. It wouldn't have fit too well because he's so apathetic. But, you'll see.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

We had settled into a house just outside Boston. It was magnificent, big and modern. A penthouse on the ground. I loved it, but I think Zexion was a little apprehensive. He tried so hard to impress me with his strength. It wasn't necessary for him to be so grumpy all the time, though I thought it was cute when he would puff out his chest and pretend to be bigger than he was.

He took to MIT almost immediately. He loved it there because he was surrounded by people who were just as smart as he was. He would get stressed out a lot and bark his frustration at me. But, I didn't mind. To me, it was just like college all over again. Only, we had a little more history than just me introducing myself and ruining his first thesis statement.

I remember, he got really mad at me about that, and I think he didn't talk to me for a week afterwards. He had always been a quiet guy, and I thought it was kind of funny that he could go for so long without talking to anyone. At all. It made me wonder sometimes how he got his schoolwork done.

But, I'm forgetting what I'm actually supposed to be talking about.

Right, our wedding day.

Ha, that had to be the greatest day of my life. It's actually a funny story. Or, at least I thought so. Zexion didn't, but he doesn't think most things are funny.

I'm going off subject again, excuse me.

So, it was April twenty-first, and it was the day of our wedding. I had fought with Zexion for months about who was going to be the groom. Even though we were both grooms, I insisted that I was going to be the one standing at the altar, so he could be the center of attention. That, and I would be less likely to fall if I was standing still. So, I won that argument.

Then came the dress thing. I don't know why, but a lot of people think that when gay couples get married, one of the guys has to wear a dress. Not true. We both chose out nice tuxedoes, with cufflinks that matched, and the most wonderful bowties ever. Our theme was traditional, so we had black suits, white shirts, black bowties, and silver cufflinks. It was beautiful.

But, this is about what happened before the vows.

I was getting anxious. I wasn't allowed to see Zexion before our wedding, even though I tried really hard to sneak into his dressing room. I was surprised that Zexion had made friends at MIT even though he had been there for only a few months. But, he had a couple, and they made sure to keep an eye on me. They were like scary bodyguards in suits.

However, my cunning mind hatched an idea to let me see him one last time before he became Mr. Demyx Harrison-Sturgis. We had decided to attach both last names since neither one of us was a woman. My plan included theme music, but I thought I would be noticed if I had been carrying around a radio that was blasting Mission Impossible music.

I skirted through where the florists were arranging the table settings, claiming to need to just check on the progress. They didn't pay me any mind. They actually were happy to see me because according to them, Xigbar told them that such illustrious floral arrangement were not necessary. I think I made the florist, Marluxia's day because I told him that I loved them.

So, on the other side of the courtyard, past the water fountains and hedges, under the stage for the wedding band, and through four tents, I found Zexion's dressing room. We had originally wanted to hold our ceremony in a church, but apparently God hates faggots. And there were no churches in the surrounding area that would allow two men to marry under their roof. But, it was going to be beautiful that day, so we held it outside.

But, I'm getting off track. I'm sorry. Politics, you know?

I opened the little flap to his dressing "room", because it really was a tent, and looked inside. Zexion was standing on a little platform, getting tailored by a guy named Luxord, who apparently was the best tailor in the whole world. He was so tiny it made me giggle. He looked like a grumpy teenager getting prepared for prom. Luxord kept poking him with pins, I think, because Zexion kept grunting in pain.

"Well hold still and I won't stick you," Luxord said. "It's just a wedding."

"Just a wedding," Zexion growled. "It's the biggest commitment of my whole life, and I'm not even sure if I really want it."

"Well, what the hell are you doing then?"

Zexion sighed, and I saw his face in the mirror, though I wasn't sure if he could see me. "I love him, but…"

"But what?" Luxord asked. "It seems pretty cut and dry to me. You love him. So you get married."

"Sociopaths don't get married," Zexion argued. "They don't. They are programmed to disrespect and ignore everyone they love. It's part of their persona."

"Well, you must not be a sociopath then." Luxord paused, and Zexion grunted again. "As far as I'm concerned, I still get paid whether you marry the guy or not."

Luxord stood and departed without another word, and Zexion hopped off his platform and began pacing. I noticed that he did that more often. He said it helps him with making hard decisions, so I didn't think anything of it. But, if I had known he was having such a hard time with this marriage thing, I wouldn't have pushed him so hard.

I felt bad now, and entered Zexion's tent with the full intention of telling him that I was going to call the whole thing off. But, I hadn't really seen Zexion until I was standing right in front of him. He was handsome. Absolutely gorgeous. And I had no idea he could look so sophisticated until he looked at me with his hair perfectly done, and his suit perfectly tailored.

"You look fantastic," I said, beaming. Plans dashed.

Zexion blushed. I loved it when he blushed. "Uh, you know you're not supposed to see me, right?"

"Yeah," I scratched the back of my head. I did that when I was nervous, but I never told Zexion that. I just let him think it was me being indecisive. "But we kind of left most of those traditions at the door, didn't we?"

"I suppose so."

"Listen." I ran my fingers through his hair. It was soft and cut perfectly, and I felt a little guilty because I was messing up what had to be a thousand dollar hairstyle. "I was thinking."

"About?" Zexion pushed my hand away and fixed his hair as best as he could.

"Well, this whole thing," I muttered. "Maybe I was being too pushy. Or too fast."

Zexion frowned. "Stop doing that!"

"What?" I asked him that stupid question every time he said that even though I knew exactly what he was talking about. I was once again "reading his mind". He hated it when I did that because it forced him to admit what he was thinking about.

"You heard me, didn't you?"

That question caught me off guard. "Er...yeah. But, it's okay if you don't want to do this. I mean sociopaths don't get married."

"I didn't mean it like that." Zexion flushed, turning that shade of red that warned me to his imminent nervous breakdown. "I was merely acknowledging my flaws so I could better determine how to move forward with my life."

"So, you're a sociopath," I said thoughtfully. "Who is about to get married to his best friend of forever, and then you are going to...?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

I hugged him, but he resisted me. He was being his normal stubborn little self, and I found that so sexy. I really didn't want to wait for the honeymoon, if you know what I mean.

So, I didn't.

Even though he was pushing me away, I kept him close, and kissed him gently. That almost seemed to extinguish any attempts at fleeing, because he relaxed into it. He was still listening to that part of his brain that told him that he needed to focus on the task at hand, which was getting married. But, I think after maybe forty-five seconds, he decided against it, and let me have him.

I picked up speed, because if we were going to do this, we had an hour and a half. I pulled his bowtie loose, carefully took his suit jacket off and hung it up, and unbuttoned his shirt. All while dressed myself, and without wrinkling anything. Yeah, impressive.

I didn't wait for Zexion's permission for anything like I normally would have. Instead, I completely dominated over him. I kept my fingers in his dark hair, and pulled my clothing off, not really caring whether it was wrinkling or not. I didn't have to look perfect, Zexion did. I let everything fall to the floor of the tent and pushed Zexion onto the small platform.

I think we were_ not_ kissing for about five minutes total. And that was the time it took for me to figure out how to take off this dickey thing so I wouldn't have to freak out when I had to put it back on. But, I was gentle, holding myself back because I wanted this to be special.

Though we really didn't have time for special.

"Stop," Zexion huffed. "We need to do this later. We still have a honeymoon, you know."

I kissed his forehead and nibbled the lobes of his ears. "I know." I was using that playful voice I used whenever I was teasing Zexion. I knew it drove him crazy, but it was strange to talk. I just wanted to move. "But, I wanted this to be special. You deserve it."

Zexion squirmed underneath me, pushing my chest away. I could see he wanted me to do this. That the thought of being seen and the time constraint was exhilarating to him. He was excited, and it showed. He blushed furiously, and tried to move from under me, but all attempts failed. He was growling at me to get up, but he wasn't calling the shots today. No, today, I was the boss.

I forced him back down, locking my lips with his, and gently stroking his entire body from head to toe. He shivered, and I felt the goosebumps meet my fingertips with anticipation. His groans of resistance turned into moans of longing and pleasure, but not without a couple of bites out of me. I sucked his neck lightly, hoping that that would be the only thing to get him to comply with my requests.

It worked like a charm, and Zexion melted into my arms. I took advantage of him, I know, purposely brushing up against his most sensitive areas. I worked a couple of satisfied moans out of him, before he whispered that one word I needed to hear.

"Please."

Say no more.

I hovered over his chest, planting tiny wet kisses over his nipples, and working my way down, without ever touching anything that would excite him too quickly. I was going to make him work for his prizes. He loved it, though he would complain about it all the time. But I knew better.

I slid a finger into his butt slowly, and he tensed, but I kept him distracted as I worked another finger in and began to move them around. He mewled in satisfaction, and I kissed him passionately, enjoying every whisper for more, and every hitched breath. I had him wrapped around my finger, both literally and figuratively speaking.

I was just about to get to the good part when the muffled grunt of someone outside the tent drew my attention.

"Zexion?"

I looked at the flap and looked at Zexion, my brain hatching yet another ingenious plot that didn't include theme music, but could be just as fun. I leaned over Zexion's body and licked his ear.

"Go with it," I commanded. I wrapped my hand around his hard on and pumped gently. Zexion gasped.

"What?"

"Have you seen Demyx? He's not in his tent."

"Uhh…" Zexion moaned softly. I prayed he wouldn't give us away. "No, I haven't. Did you try the bathrooms?" Another soft moan.

I loved how he was trying to keep his voice level and unemotional. He was surprisingly good at it even though I was being the meanest lover in the whole world, stringing him along like that. He managed to keep everyone at bay, just like a little trooper. I rewarded him with a gentle stroke and dirty words. He leaned into me, practically hissing his demands, but I wouldn't budge.

"Demyx," Zexion moaned. "God damn it."

"Say the magic words," I teased. I knew that would just get under his skin. "Say 'Please fuck me.'"

"Demyx!"

I stopped. "Not until you say the magic words."

In retrospect, it probably was vastly out of character to make such a demand. Even though I was messing around, I usually wasn't that assertive in our sexual escapades. I usually just pleased Zexion and then got the favor returned. But, this time, I was being very harsh and aggressive. Something totally new for me, and very exciting. I'm pretty sure Zexion was thinking the same thing, because not even a second later, he growled the magic words.

And received the fucking of the century.

I was just over that edge of complete sexual satisfaction, that place where you are smiling like an idiot and can't really hear anything right, when the flap opened and Xigbar walked in. He was dressed handsomely as well, wearing a tuxedo that was tailored, and he looked slightly flustered. We all froze. Xigbar's eye was staring at us wide. At the time, I couldn't figure out if it was surprise or disgust, but I think it was a combination of both. Zexion and I were covered with sweat and bite marks, and we were lying over each other, panting heavily. But, then Xigbar did something very nice and closed his eye.

"Uh, I'm going to pretend I didn't see that," he said. "So, in about fifteen minutes, I want to see Demyx at that altar, so you two can get married and I can get the fuck out of this ridiculous tuxedo. Then, I'm going to wait patiently for you to return from your honeymoon where we will never speak of this encounter for as long as we live. Got it?"

"Got it Xigbar," I hummed.

Xigbar didn't say anything as he backed out of the tent. I wallowed in the afterglow longer than Zexion did. He was already cleaning himself up and scolding me for doing what I did. But, he really wasn't into it, because his cheeks were still flushed. He cleaned up nicely though.

After ten minutes, I had "bathed", though I don't think washing yourself with the water that was meant for the flowers counted. I snuck past all the florists and decorators, who were finishing up and moving out, and I took my place at the altar. One of my groomsmen, Axel leaned towards me, looking very pissed off.

"Where the fuck were you?" he hissed.

"Doing things," I muttered back.

"Doing things?" Axel sucked his teeth in disapproval. "That really could have waited, you know. I lost my wedding score."

Now it was my turn to ask the question. "Wedding score?"

Axel smiled, then frowned quickly. "This little hot thing over there. Last row. I was going to fuck her today, but you had to go and 'do things.' Now I'm going to be alone."

"That's what you get for thinking about yourself all the time," I said softly. But, I did feel kind of bad, so I promised him that I would see what I could do.

I waited for the ceremony to start, scared shitless, and shaking. The music was lovely. I had written it specifically for this event, and even though Xigbar begged me to sell it, I refused. This music was far too special to be distributed. This was Zexion's wedding song, and there was never going to be anything like it. It was his and his alone. Everyone stood up and looked right at him, some people smiling, others frowning, but they all kept their heads bowed respectfully.

A word to describe the way Zexion looked as he was escorted down the aisle by none other than his own father? Surprised. I know, I didn't expect that either. But, he was just so happy, it made my heart swell. And even though his father had been a douche bag before, what he did today made me hate him less. Only a little though.

The person who married us wasn't a priest. They were certified by the lovely state of Massachusetts to marry people, and I suppose he was more like a junior lawyer. But he was sweet, and when he called for the ring barer, I eagerly turned to greet Wes, only to find that he had run and was hiding under a table. Zexion dropped his flowers and rushed to the table with me. We both fell to our knees and crawled under amongst the laughter of our guests. It really wasn't that funny because Wes was scared, and I wanted to yell at them, but this thin veil of stress rolled over Zexion's eyes and I thought better of it.

"Come on, Wes," I cooed. He looked at me with that indifferent stare. "Come on, we're both here."

He didn't move, and Zexion, being smaller than myself, crawled closer to Wes and sat next to him.

"You know, I'm scared too." He ruffled Wes's hair lightly. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to take this big step. But, you don't have to be scared."

I thought this was such a tender moment between father and son, I felt a little bit like a pervert for sit right there. Zexion dropped his voice to just above a whisper, but it didn't matter what he said. As long as Wes was comfortable, I was fine.

I pulled out from underneath the table and waited patiently for Zexion to finish. After about five minutes, I felt his hand tug the bottom of my pants. I looked down and smiled.

"He's not coming out," Zexion said. "He says he wants this to be just us."

I nodded, and turned. "Hey, priest-lawyer guy."

He looked at me and shrugged.

"If we put the rings on and say 'I do.', will we be married?"

"I guess so."

I smiled and ducked under the table. Zexion scooted over as best as he could, but it still was cramped. Wes gave me the ring only after I said pretty-please-with-a-cherry-on-top. I glanced at Zexion, trying to think of something witty to say.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked.

Zexion nodded. "I may be a sociopath—"

"But now you're my sociopath!" I grabbed his hand and put the ring on it, reveling in my ability to think of something clever on the fly. I usually had to think about it a little bit, but today was different. "And now we kiss!"

"Don't you think you're getting a little too excited?"

"Nope!" I pulled him close to me and kissed him, though it was a little more "R" rated than if I had been standing at the altar.

Zexion didn't object. I had married my best friend, and though it was a bumpy road, and absolutely nothing like the movies portrayed it, I was beyond happy. Zexion was happy, too, though he kind of got over the magical magicalness of our wedding day rather quickly. That was Zexion for you.

And when we emerged from the under the table with Wes leading us, we were, for the first time, Mr. and Mr. Demyx Harrison-Sturgis.

And we lived happily ever after. Forever.

By the by, I totally saved Axel's wedding score. Go figure chicks dig it when gay guys hook up their straight friends.

* * *

**Ta Da! I acually really enjoyed writing this because it gave me a chance to change my voice into something that was a little more cheery. I like to write scary, sad, sociopathic pieces, but with my mission of writing the next chapter of _The Nobody Virus,_ I feel like I needed a little bit of happiness before I plunge myself into such a forboding and hopeless situation.**

**So, yeah, I covered their wedding. Too bad Axel's like a man whore. Demyx totally saved his ass.**

**I'll be posting chapter 20 of _The Nobody Virus_ today as well. I encourage all you people to go read it. Hooray for shameless self advertising! *Huzzah***

**Has a nice day. :)**


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